PSG

You just knew Zlatan was going to do something special when it was announced he would play against his first professional club, Malmo FF, in the Champions League group stage. It was never going to be otherwise. 

Sure enough, with PSG up 1-0 thanks to a magic di Maria goal in the fourth minute, Zlatan delivered, with a tricky flick on to a cross that eventually found its way to Edinson Cavani's head, from where it found its way to the back of the net. 

Zlatan was asked by PSG TV what superpowers he wanted. His answer, because he is Zlatan, was "i already have them."

So, we must speculate on which superpowers Zlatan Ibrahimovic possesses. This should be fun.

Give PSG owner Nasser Al-Khelaïfi this: he's nothing if not ambitious. 

French Newspaper Le Parisien reported that PSG will use its newfound oil money to try to sign Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, the two best players in the world.

Never mind the exhorbitant release clauses. Never mind previous rejections. They are going to try again! And we applaud them for it. 

Al-Khelaifi is the proud owner of quite a lot of money, and if there's anyone with the testicular fortitude to make a serious run at both Messi and Ronaldo, it's the Qatari oil baron.

Angel Di Maria has written an open letter to Manchester United after having completed his big money move to Paris Saint-Germain, ostensibly in order to smooth things over with a fan base that holds him in just slightly higher regard than Radamel Falcao, which is to say it doesn’t like him. 

The letter is professional, and makes it clear that he is really sorry for failing to live up to expectations. 

To Manchester United:

It was all sunshine and rainbows for PSG on the field Saturday. The reigning French champions defeated Lyon 2-0 behind goals from Serge Aurier and Edinson Cavani. Aurier in particular was a revelation at left-back.

Off the field, though, was a diferent matter for the club, who look like they might lose star striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic. 

"It could be that this was my last game for PSG," Zlatan said after the game. 

PSG players, we are almost positive, are very athletic human beings. Soccer is a very demanding game that requires strength, agility and stamina, plus coordination and intelligence. They are good at soccer, as evidenced by the fact that they play for one of the best clubs in the world. They have dedicated their lives (so far) to soccer. And they should stick to it, because they are clearly not ready for other sports.

In a move we have dubbed "the flying Zlatan," Zlatan Ibrahimovic gave John Terry a forearm-shiver Saturday when PSG met up with Chelsea in the International Champions Cup.

There were claims that this was an elbow from Zlatan, but he clearly uses his forearm and not his elbow.

What could John Terry have done to provoke the wrath of Zlatan? 

Hold on to your hats, America. In the coming years, it looks like MLS is set to get a lot more Swedish. And awesome.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic told reporters Thursday that he would like to go to MLS at some point. The 33-year-old striker has one more year on his contract at Paris Saint-Germain.

He told Yahoo Sports:

While he’s yet to dot his two I’s, it’s as certain as low wages at Walmart that Angel di Maria will sign a contract with Paris St Germain in the coming days. Less than 12 months after shelling out a British record £59.7 million for the Argentine Champions League winner, Manchester United are expected to agree to a fee of around £45 million that will see the former Real Madrid midfielder cross the English Channel.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic says what he feels all of the time, and a lot of the time that involves letting someone know that he is better than them. 

When asked who he thought was the best looking woman in the world, he responded, “I don’t know, but when I find her I will date her.”

He’s arrogant, there is no getting around that, but hearing his ignorance it is hard to not think of a famous Muhammad Ali quote: it’s not bragging if you can back it up.