Shocking

Do me a favor, try to remember the last time you heard a Joey Barton story that was about his performance. You probably can’t because despite his long, above average career, he has gotten into trouble almost as often as he has scored goals; sometimes even managing to get into trouble when he was already under scrutiny for something else.

Same sex marriage is legal in Spain and it has been since 2005. However, this does not stop certain oafish individuals from believing they're above common decency and fair-minded societal behavior.

Legia Warsaw’s Champions League opener against Borussia Dortmund couldn’t have gone any worse for the Polish club. On top of being defeated 6-0, they’ve been retroactively charged by UEFA with six offenses stemming from crowd trouble.

Fireworks, allegations of racist chanting and ultras armed with pepper spray all contributed to the charges. Warsaw ultras were captured on camera trying to break into the away section armed with pepper spray. Their attempt was rebuffed by stadium security, but the stewards tasked with holding the ultras back suffered the brunt of the violence.

Neymar scored 31 goals in 49 appearances for Barcelona last season, helping ensure a La Liga and Copa del Rey double for the club, but the Brazilian captain hasn’t cracked UEFA’s list for the top 10 players in Europe.

Italian penalty specialist Simone Zaza has issued a public apology through his Instagram account after his ridiculous penalty kick sailed over the bar against Germany.

Zaza, who was introduced in the 120th minute for Giorgio Chiellini, has become a viral sensation for his scampering approach to a spot-kick. It was an unorthodox technique that was ultimately humiliating from start to finish.

However, none of that is funny anymore.

We’ve seen many odd career choices made by soccer players after hanging up their boots. Ronaldo tried his luck as a poker player. Maradona got a TV show. Countless went into politics – and the list of post-retirement career choices goes on and on. Nevertheless, no soccer player has taken a path quite like former Coventry City and Hereford United goalkeeper David Icke. 

First, a little background on David Icke.

In the biggest story to come out of European football this summer, a Swedish defender was sent off while playing in a ninth-tier match for farting near the opposition striker. 

According to The Guardian, Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, the left-back for Jarna SK’s reserve team, was shown a second yellow card for “deliberate provocation” and “unsportsmanlike behavior” after farting in the general direction of opposition striker Kristoffer Linde.