South America

Argentina Hit The Panic Button, Fire Manager Edgardo Bauza

Like Tata Martino before him, Edgardo Bauza has been dismissed of his role as manager of Argentina’s national team after failing to get the most out of Lionel Messi’s supporting cast. The next manager for Argentina will be Messi's 8th since joining the Albiceleste.

Corinthians Ball Man Disappears Into A World Of Pain After Being Touched

Corinthians defeated Universidad de Chile in the first leg of their Copa Sudamericana matchup, but the real story was a heroic ball man inside the Arena Corinthians in Sao Paulo.

An overzealous Universidad de Chile player was eager to get the ball back with his side losing 1-0 and halftime fast approaching. The valiant ball man, in his own way, eventually obliged.

But then he got brutally touched right in the heart. We don’t know what happened then. Judging by his facial expression it looks like his heart simply broke. 

Congratulations To Bolivia, The New Unofficial World Champions

Lost in all the column inches about Lionel Messi’s four-match ban, Argentina’s horrific performance in their 2-0 defeat to Bolivia and their subsequent falling to fifth-place in CONMEBOL qualifying was the passing of the belt to Bolivia in the Unofficial Football World Championships.

Messi Says He Was Yelling At The Air, Not The Ref

Lionel Messi has been suspended from four Argentina World Cup qualifiers (one has already been played) for saying something really bad, either (if FIFA is to be believed) to an assistant referee or (if Messi is to be believed) to the air. Argentina's World Cup qualification may hinge on Messi's excuse holding water.

Well, here's the video, so you can decide for yourself:

Some Are Protesting, Some Are Posing For Selfies: The Disturbing Reaction To Convicted Murderer Bruno’s Signing

Bruno Fernandes de Souza hadn’t even been out of jail for a month before Brazilian soccer club Boa Esporte signed him as their goalkeeper. Now, most of us are all for giving someone a second chance after a mistake. But this wasn’t a simple infraction. Bruno was convicted of having his girlfriend killed and then feeding her body to dogs — it doesn’t get any less humane than that.

Brazil Punch Their Ticket To Russia With A Style That Can Only Be Described As Brazilian

After three straight World Cups of the “Brazilian way” appearing to be nothing more than a fabricated lie engineered by Nike to sell more shoes or a conveniently easy Brazil pregame special for Fox Sports’ Rob Stone, the Brazilian creed of joga bonito is suddenly back in its full glory.

Brazil have become the second side to qualify for the 2018 World Cup, alongside hosts Russia. A team in the CONMEBOL region punching their ticket with over a year to go before the finals, and with four matches still remaining in qualifying, is heinous.

Caffeine And Viagra Not Enough For Argentina Without Messi In La Paz

In La Paz, Bolivia, more than 10,000 feet above sea level, the air is so thin you can almost see Argentina's World Cup qualification hopes floating away.

It's not over yet, of course, but after a 2-0 defeat at the hands of Bolivia and with Lionel Messi suspended for three of Argentina's four remaining qualifiers, it's not looking good.

We still don't know what Messi said to the assistant referee after Argentina's 1-0 win over Chile Thursday, but whatever it was got him a four-match suspension, curiously announced just six hours before the Bolivia match.

Lionel Messi Handed Four-Match Ban By FIFA Hours Before Crucial Bolivia Qualifier

The FIFA Disciplinary Committee has handed Lionel Messi a suspension of four games for his altercation with an assistant referee following Argentina’s 1-0 victory over Chile on Thursday. The ban goes into effect immediately, ruling Messi out of Argentina’s match against Bolivia in La Paz later today.

Watch River Plate Somehow Mess Up A 4-On-The-Goalie Break

(clears throat)

Webster's Dictionary defines "incompetence" as . . . 

It doesn't really matter what Webster's Dictionary defines incompetence as, because I know it when I see it, and this is it. First, Belgrano de Cordoba's defense took a nap when they should have been paying attention to what River Plate's attackers were doing. One defender was paying attention, but he played the situation badly and took himself out of the action right at the start.

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