Spain

Real Madrid defender Dani Carvajal thought he was being clever. In the waning moments of a 6-0 victory over APOEL on Nov. 21, Carvajal decided to hold the ball instead of throwing it back into play. The referee didn’t like this time wasting and showed him a yellow card. It was Carvajal’s fifth yellow of the Champions League campaign, meaning he would be suspended for the Borussia Dortmund match, but he would be available for the knockout rounds, for which Real Madrid had already qualified. 

We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.  

Carles Puyol is a legend. One of the best central defenders of all time, he won 20 major trophies with Barcelona and helped Spain to their 2010 World Cup triumph. Because of his impressive resume, it makes sense that Puyol was asked to participate in the draw for the 2018 World Cup. Puyol drew groups G and H and everything went off without a hitch.

Until that evening, when a fan hit Puyol in the face with a dildo.

Mexican international winger Hirving "Chucky" Lozano is lighting the Eredivisie in his first season in Europe with PSV. The 22-year-old has 11 goals in 14 appearances in all competitions for the Dutch side, and from the looks of it he's just getting started.

“For f**k’s sake. Have you got nothing else to talk about?” was Neymar’s recent response when asked about wild speculation linking him with a transfer to Real Madrid. No, is now the Spanish media’s resounding answer.

Barcelona have not had a good Saturday.

First, they were held to a 2-2 draw by Celta Vigo, the sort of opponent that Barca should never have any trouble putting away. Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez both scored, but the defense was not good.

The World Cup draw was completed this morning at the State Kremlin Palace in Moscow with the 32 finalist nations placed into eight groups of four. The 2018 FIFA World Cup will kick off on June 14 at Luzhniki Stadium with a match featuring host-side Russia and Saudi Arabia. We now know the makeup of the entire field for the competition as well as the group stage matches that'll captivate the planet next summer. Here are the full results from the 2018 FIFA World Cup draw. 

Gareth Bale made his return from another injury layoff with an exquisite assist for Real Madrid, but goalkeeper Keylor Navas’ ricocheted blunder may have overshadowed Bale’s attempted heroics. Real Madrid drew 2-2 against Fuenlabrada in the second leg of their Copa del Rey Round of 32 match on Tuesday, advancing 4-2 on aggregate as the club’s (relative) struggles continued this season.

Barcelona and Valencia drew 1-1 Sunday, moving Real Madrid two points closer (although still very far away) to their rivals at the top of the table in La Liga. That result, though, was tainted by what should have been the opener via Lionel Messi and poor goalkeeping from Valencia's Neto being declared not a goal by the referee.

Take a look for yourself: