USA

Two Portland Timbers performed teamwork in maybe the worst way possible Monday. Goalkeeper Jake Gleeson crashed his BMW into the back of another car and called his teammate, team captain Liam Ridgewell (hey, what are captains for?) to come help him.

This seems like normal teammate behavior until you learn they the pair were reportedly both drunk and were arrested for Driving Under the Influence of Intoxicants (DUII).

Eight months after the kick off to the 2016 campaign, the MLS season has finally reached the playoff stage. In a case of switching identifies, last year’s champions, the Portland Timbers, failed to make the knockout round, while typical basement dwellers Colorado were a pacesetting team from start to finish. San Jose, Houston and Vancouver join Portland on the outside looking in, all hoping to be next year’s Rapids. 

After yet another impressive season, FC Dallas finish top of the Western Conference and MLS, winning the 2016 Supporters’ Shield. 

16-year-old high school goalkeeper Reuben Nsemoh underwent a terrifying ordeal as a result of a concussion he suffered while playing soccer.

The sophomore ended up in a coma after being kicked in the head during a game. Check out the footage below.

After 34 matches, the MLS Eastern Conference gave us exactly what we expected in some cases and major surprises for other clubs. The 2015 Eastern semi-finalists, the New York Red Bulls (first on 57 points) and the Columbus Crew (36 points and in 9th place), going in wildly different directions. 

There is not much we can say about this goal that isn't going to sound like we plagiarized it from True Detective, so you're just going to have to watch it.

Twitter does not allow the necessary amount of characters to describe what happened here so... pic.twitter.com/8aimCAopbN

— The Full 90 (@TheFull90) October 24, 2016

We have hit another milestone in 2016 as 32-year-old New England Revolution striker Kei Kamara has become the first man, we assume, to receive a yellow card for twerking in the history of association football. This almost goes without saying, but he’s also the first former winner of the MLS Works Humanitarian of the Year award to receive a yellow card for twerking, a distinction that is unlikely to ever be replicated.

“Stop playing like a girl.”

Five words that can quickly bring down someone’s motivation and self-esteem. Over the years, this stereotype has been used as an insult for both boys and girls. It’s a simple way of telling someone they aren’t good enough. Over time, women have done their best to break this harmful stereotypes. Luckily, there are a growing number of celebrities and role models speaking out for gender equality today. 

After a long (according to US standards) and historic run, the Columbus Crew Stadium, now known as MAPFRE Stadium, may be set to enter phase 2.0. The MLS reported this week that the club are beginning initial research into either expanding or rebuilding the Crew’s home. 

Newly elected UEFA President Aleksander Ceferin outlined his vision for football's administrative body in Europe during an interview with The Associated Press on Thursday. Ceferin’s most newsworthy propositions are the repercussions from reviving UEFA’s open bidding process for the right to host the Champions League final.