Zlatan was asked by PSG TV what superpowers he wanted. His answer, because he is Zlatan, was "i already have them."
So, we must speculate on which superpowers Zlatan Ibrahimovic possesses. This should be fun.
This is a public service announcement for journalists covering press conferences in which Zlatan Ibrahimovic happens to be speaking, especially journalists whom Zlatan Ibrahimovic doesn't particularly like: maybe don't ask Zlatan questions that will make him turn into a fire-breathing Swedish monster, throwing insults around like he's at the roast of Donald Trump or something.
It's here.
The Zlomecoming.
When Malmo FF made the Champions League group stage, Zlatan Ibrahimovic congratulated the Swedish team, his first professional club, and said he would like to experience the Champions League at Malmo some day.
That day might be here sooner than even Zlatan could have predicted. The Champions League draw was held Thursday, and Zlatan's Paris Saint-Germain were drawn in Group A. Malmo were also drawn in Group A.
Zlatan's full smartassery (a word we just made up) was on full display in this Bleacher Report video of Zlatan reading Zlatan facts.
For those unacquanited, Zlatan facts are akin to Chuck Norris facts (Zlatan beat the Mona Lisa in a staring competition, etc). Zlatan, it appears, is in on the joke, which makes the video even better.
The beginning of the video sets the tone:
Zlatan fans have something to get excited about.
Go to the link, watch the teaser then come back.
That was exciting, right? Now watch this one.
Yes, Zhowtime is a searchable Zlatan goal database. We can hardly contain ourselves.
Zhowtime will launch August 28.
Contact The18 Staff WRiter Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
Zlatan Ibrahimovic would like for you to buy his perfume. Zlatan Ibrahimovic made a commercial in order to persuade you to buy his perfume.
But, like everything Zlatan does, this is not your average commercial. It's not quite as insane as this commercial, but it does feature a #ZlatanFish.
It was all sunshine and rainbows for PSG on the field Saturday. The reigning French champions defeated Lyon 2-0 behind goals from Serge Aurier and Edinson Cavani. Aurier in particular was a revelation at left-back.
Off the field, though, was a diferent matter for the club, who look like they might lose star striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
"It could be that this was my last game for PSG," Zlatan said after the game.
PSG players, we are almost positive, are very athletic human beings. Soccer is a very demanding game that requires strength, agility and stamina, plus coordination and intelligence. They are good at soccer, as evidenced by the fact that they play for one of the best clubs in the world. They have dedicated their lives (so far) to soccer. And they should stick to it, because they are clearly not ready for other sports.
In a move we have dubbed "the flying Zlatan," Zlatan Ibrahimovic gave John Terry a forearm-shiver Saturday when PSG met up with Chelsea in the International Champions Cup.
There were claims that this was an elbow from Zlatan, but he clearly uses his forearm and not his elbow.
What could John Terry have done to provoke the wrath of Zlatan?
Hold on to your hats, America. In the coming years, it looks like MLS is set to get a lot more Swedish. And awesome.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic told reporters Thursday that he would like to go to MLS at some point. The 33-year-old striker has one more year on his contract at Paris Saint-Germain.
He told Yahoo Sports: