Pick Some Soccer Stuff And We’ll Tell You What Your College Major Should Be

It’s time to go back to school, young bloods. It’s time to put away the Pokemon GO and stop chasing the ice cream truck down the block in favor of more erudite affairs, like drinking Keystone Light and missing your a.m. classes — or at least that’ll be the case if you don’t select the right major!

If you select the right area of study, the college classroom will be the height of your very existence — a never-ending journey into the depository of wisdom that was laid down by the colossal minds of mankind's past, resulting in one personally uplifting paradigm shift followed by the next. But if you don’t, you’ll just be an uninteresting sad sack. 

So take this quiz and let me decide your future! What could possibly go wrong.