Error message

  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\HandlerList::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 32 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/HandlerList.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Aws\Credentials\Credentials implements the Serializable interface, which is deprecated. Implement __serialize() and __unserialize() instead (or in addition, if support for old PHP versions is necessary) in include() (line 8 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Credentials/Credentials.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Command::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Result::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Warning: Undefined array key "nid" in views_handler_field_term_node_tid->pre_render() (line 98 of /var/www/html/docroot/sites/all/modules/views/modules/taxonomy/views_handler_field_term_node_tid.inc).
  • Warning: Undefined array key "nid" in views_handler_field_term_node_tid->pre_render() (line 98 of /var/www/html/docroot/sites/all/modules/views/modules/taxonomy/views_handler_field_term_node_tid.inc).
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News

Football Club Cancels Hotel Reservation Because Of 400 Russian Models

For those of you who don’t speak Dutch, the “HAHA” in the tweet below is directed at the poor, misfortunate lads of MSV Duisburg. It seems that the powers that be (boring, older men) at the club decided to cancel reservations at the hotel the team was originally supposed to stay at over the winter break, because the players needed to “calmly prepare” for the season’s renewal:

What, you may ask, could have gotten in the way of a bunch of sex-crazed young men professionals calmly preparing? Oh, just 400 Russian models. 

All 400 were sure to be looking at their finest, too, as a modeling competition being held at the hotel was what brought them all there. So we guess we can understand the club’s actions. It did not want its players to be outnumbered nearly 20 to 1 by beautiful women in the lead up to the start of the second half of the season. They would surely have been severely drained by the time the January 31st kick-off took place.

Gentlemen of MSV Druisburg, we feel your pain. If there were ever a reason to set a historical precedent for club-wide mutiny, this was it. We must commend you for not doing so. All of you, not just the single ones. 

For the players that did have significant others, this whole ordeal must have been roller coaster of emotion. Your relief at making it to the winter break. The elation of finding out your hotel will be filled with models. The crippling fear following the realization that the hotel will be overrun with 400 reasons to do something you’ll regret. The anger at never being able to talk to any of those nice ladies. Finally, hidden thankfulness for not having been put through such a demonic test - but, if your teammates had to know, you totally would have gotten at least 50 numbers. 

You just keep telling yourself that, Romeo. You just keep telling yourself that. 

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