When not disrupted by big daddy Omicron, college football bowl season is one of the greatest times of the year. There’s something about your team playing hundreds of miles away against a random opponent with an even more random brand slapped on to the name that brings so much joy. Who doesn’t love the Dollar General Bowl?
What if this wonderful season of sport was transferred to European club soccer? We could see magnificent spectacles like this in Europe if we went through with this idea.
MAYO BATH pic.twitter.com/GQh03Beue1
— Duke’s Mayo Bath (@DukesMayoBowl) December 30, 2021
I wrote a similar story to this two years ago which I was informed was a “stupid article.” Maybe second time is the charm.
The Totally Real European Bowl Schedule
Qatar Airways Bowl
May 27
Lyon vs. Real Sociedad
Monaco Bowl
May 28
Monaco vs. Lazio
Wembley Bowl
May 28
England vs. Its Fans
Saudi Arabia Bowl
May 28
Newcastle vs. Sheffield United
Pepsi Bowl
May 28
Sporting Portugal vs. Club Brugge
Bowlon d’Or
May 28
Manchester United vs. PSG
FIFA Bowl
May 29
Money vs. Morals
Lays Potato Chip Bowl
May 29
Sheriff vs. Benfica
Volkswagen Bowl
May 29
Wolfsburg vs. Galatasaray
Red Bull Bowl
May 29
Red Bull Salzburg vs. Red Bull Leipzig
TikTok Bowl
May 30
Spartak Moscow vs. Zenit
Overcast Bowl
May 30
Celtic vs. Rangers
Visit Rwanda Bowl
May 30
Arsenal vs. Wydad Casablanca
CR7 Underwear Bowl
May 31
Sevilla vs. Ajax
Super League Bowl
May 31
Real Madrid vs. Juventus
Relegation Bowl
June 1
Norwich vs. Greuther Fürth
It’s Called Soccer Bowl
June 1
LA Galaxy vs. New England Revolution (But they’re not European! Yeah, and this list ain’t real either)
Firing Manager Bowl
June 1
Barcelona vs. Tottenham
June Year’s Six Bowl Games
Heineken Bowl
May 30
Manchester City vs. Bayern Munich
Gucci Bowl
May 31
Napoli vs. Atlético Madrid
Full English Bowl
May 31
Chelsea vs. Liverpool
Poppy Bowl
June 1
Leicester City vs. Lille
Spaghetti Bowl
June 1
AC Milan vs. Inter Milan
Ibiza Bowl
June 1
Porto vs. Borussia Dortmund