Africa

Perhaps more than any other weekend every four years, this upcoming (extended) weekend from Thursday to Tuesday defines a nation’s success on the world football stage. Playoffs aside, this is the final week of World Cup qualifiers, and it’s going to be absolutely bonkers.

There is so much at stake for so many countries from traditional powers (Argentina, Netherlands) to the incredible underdogs (Syria, Iceland) and everyone in between. Only a handful of teams have already qualified and an incredible amount are still in the running. 

If you pay $1 for a cheeseburger, you don’t expect a gourmet experience. If you buy a $600 car, you shouldn’t be surprised if it dies before the next oil change. If you spend $30,000 on a house, it’s probably a fixer-upper. If you put down $5 million for a striker, you won’t win the Premier League.

If you spend $20 on match fixing, you can’t expect to win the match. Nchalo United in Malawi found that out the hard way. 

South Africa beat Senegal 2-1 in a World Cup qualifier last November, except for they didn't.

The match will have to be replayed because the referee from November, Ghanaian Joseph Odartei Lamptey, has been found guilty of match-fixing and banned for life.

Was there a dodgy penalty in this match that the referee might have called for match-fixing purposes? Reader, there was, though FIFA hasn't released the exact details behind Lamptey's ban.

The Confederation of African Football is moving its biennial Africa Cup of Nations from January to June-July, the CAF announced Thursday after meetings in Morocco.

So it turns out the owner of Romanian club Steaua Bucharest is a real piece of work.

Not like this owner, but a real, legitimate lowlife, according to recent quotes attributed to him. 

Everton have made a lot of noise in this summer’s transfer market after signing Jordan Pickford from Sunderland for £30 million and Davy Klaasen from Ajax for £23.5, but their most exciting signing yet was confirmed today, although 20-year-old Nigerian international Henry Onyekuru won’t be appearing at Goodison Park for another year.

Ghana coach James Kwesi Appiah might be on board with Donald Trump’s vision for a big, beautiful wall along the Mexican border.

After Ghana lost 1-0 to Mexico on Wednesday in Houston, Appiah didn’t complain about his team’s inability to put away chances, but instead he was dismayed that a Mexican-American was allowed to referee the game.

With one match left for each of the eight nations in the Confederations Cup and no team yet qualified for the semifinals, the competition is tighter than Andy Carroll's man bun. 

Despite sitting atop Group A after its less-than-convincing win over New Zealand, Mexico could go home early if results don’t go El Tri’s way. And while Germany and Chile are, as expected, in comfortable positions in Group B after their sedate draw Thursday, Australia and Cameroon are both still alive.