Barcelona

How To Cope With Knowing Real Madrid Are Going To Win La Liga

Real Madrid are going to win La Liga. It's better to come to terms with this now so you can actually enjoy the season. If you go into the season thinking someone else might have a chance and Real Madrid open up a 10-point lead by Christmas, you are going to be disappointed. So ward off the disappointment. Barcelona are depleted and Atletico Madrid are plucky but outgunned. Real Madrid are going to win La Liga.

This is fine! Lots of people enjoy the Bundesliga even though they know Bayern Munich are going to win. You can still enjoy the season even if you know how it ends already.

A Pep Guardiola XI Consisting Only Of Full Backs Would Actually Be Dope AF

Before Pep Guardiola came down from the mountaintop proclaiming the new age of the 4-3-3 with attacking width providing by the wide defenders, nobody knew what a full back was. Sure, Roberto Carlos once struck a football so hard that we all admitted their existence, but that was all anyone knew about the position. What did they do? Why were they there? It was hard to know and even harder to explain.

Lionel Messi Still Hasn't Signed His New Contract

Lionel Messi has agreed to sign a new contract with Barcelona, but Messi has not actually signed said contract yet.

This is obviously not good for Barcelona, who have to deal with the fallout from Neymar's transfer. Messi's current deal runs out after this season, but Barcelona have always maintained Messi would stay at the Camp Nou. It seemed like that was a certainty when La Pulga's new deal was announced earlier in the summer, to be officially signed when Messi showed up for pre-season training.

It’d Be Disrespectful To Say Neymar-Less Barcelona Are Even Close To Real Madrid

Real Madrid’s 5-1 aggregate victory over Barcelona in the Spanish Super Cup wasn’t a Real marker, it was a proclamation: player for player, this is the strongest squad in the history of the game. No player on Real Madrid is irreplaceable, every player on Real Madrid is valued because they’re sensational.

Barcelona Already Have A Replacement For Iniesta: It's Messi

Before Neymar came along and threw a wrench into the machinery, Barcelona's big transfer project for the summer was finding a long-term replacement for aging (but still devilishly good) midfielder Andres Iniesta.

Obviously, the Neymar business changed things, as evidenced by the fact that Barcelona are flinging cash at any attacker in Europe with two feet and a pulse. They seem to have abandoned the hunt for a new number 10. And, no, Paulinho doesn't count.

The One Thing That Cristiano Ronaldo Will Never Be Better At Than Luis Suarez

Cristiano Ronaldo is an incredible footballer, blessed with size, speed, strength, foot skiils and awareness that would be the envy of pretty much anyone. Luis Suarez is also blessed in all these categories, just not as much as Ronaldo.

There is one skill, though, in which Ronaldo will never match Suarez's unbelievable talent: acting.

Ronaldo and Suarez each attempted dives during Sunday's Spanish Super Copa first leg. Suarez won a penalty (which Lionel Messi converted), but Ronaldo was given his second yellow card and dismissed from the match.

So what went wrong?

Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi: Red Card, Yellow Card Comparison

Lionel Messi is the good, wholesome boy while Cristiano Ronaldo is the arrogant bad boy. It’s a typical narrative when comparing the temperaments of the two, but there is evidence to support the claim, at least in terms of disciplinary records.

Ronaldo picked up his 10th career red card on Sunday in the Super Copa against Messi’s Barcelona. Messi’s lone red card came 43 seconds after making his Argentina debut in 2005. 

Let's Just Replace Commentators With The Titanic Music Whenever Barcelona Plays

This weekend, Barcelona began their season with a 3-1 steamrolling at the hands of Real Madrid. The first goal came at the hands of Barcelona center back Gerard Pique, who hates Real Madrid with the fiery white-hot passion of a thousand suns and was none too pleased about putting the ball into his own net so Madrid didn't have to.

To accentuate Pique's sadness, some intrepid Internet person set Pique's Blunder to the saddest song in popular culture, courtesy of Celine Dion.

Pages