England

Notts County’s Matt Tootle Just Wants To Know Why They Never Play Nightcrawlers Anymore

Notts County scores. Darkness falls and magic stirs as Matt Tootle becomes a creature of the night — a nightcrawler! But it looks like it’s time for an intervention with the rest of his teammates, because they just don’t look interested in joining Tootle for a quick game.

Nightcrawlers is just what it sounds like, it’s a game where you crawl around like worms in the night, mining minerals under the bed while using your imagination. Tootle clearly knows what’s up. 

It's Time To Jump To Conclusions On What Manchester City And Everton Paid For This Summer

What does $60.25 million get you? How about $57.35 million? $47.25 million? If you’re Manchester City or Everton on Monday, not much — they’d have been better off with freebies. 

Big-money signings Kyle Walker, Gylfi Sigurdsson, Ederson and Jordan Pickford underwhelmed for their new clubs Monday and it wasn’t pretty. Free transfer Wayne Rooney and oft-forgettable Raheem Sterling scored in a 1-1 draw between Everton and Manchester City at the Etihad. 

Watch Jack Wilshere Try To Fight All The Manchester City U-23s

Jack Wilshere has had a rough go. Unable to cement a place in the Arsenal first team because of injuries, Wilshere spent last season on loan with Bournemouth, and now the 25-year-old has found himself playing with Arsenal's U-23s.

Evidently, he is not happy about it. He is certainly not happy about something. 

Wenger Watch Week 2: Stoking The "Wenger Out" Flames

Can the Wenger-O-Meter do it on a cold Monday night at Stoke? Arsenal certainly couldn't take care of business there on Saturday. The Gunners failed to win a penalty despite several shouts, and were beaten 1-0 by the Potters despite being the more aggressive side.

So there were positives! There usually are, but the fact remains that Arsenal lost to Stoke, swinging the Wenger-O-Meter from the "IN" position dangerously toward the "OUT" position.

Arsene Wenger

Bournemouth's Harry Arter Saved A Goal By Yelling At Watford's Nathaniel Chalobah

Watford beat Bournemouth 2-0 on Saturday because Watford are better than most of us expected and Bournemouth are still bad. The Cherries can lay claim to the best play of the match, though, in Harry Arter's goal-saving shout at Nathaniel Chalobah.

Marcos Alonso’s Spectacular Brace Spoils Tottenham’s Wembley Opener

Chelsea got their title defense back on track with a massive 2-1 victory over Tottenham in their temporary Wembley home on Sunday. Wing-back Marcos Alonso scored the first ever Premier League goal at Wembley with a sweetly struck free kick, and with a 1-1 draw looking likely, he swept forward to score the winner in the 88th. 

Alonso’s piece of brilliance in the 24th minute was the highlight of an enthralling opening 45 minutes between two of England’s best sides.  

Huddersfield Town Retain Invincibles Status For Another Week

With a 1-0 victory over Newcastle United, Huddersfield Town rose to second place in the Premier League table, sitting behind Manchester United on goal difference alone. We’re only two weeks into the season, but the Terriers are off to an almighty flyer in the top division.

German-American coach David Wagner and his squad are Invincibles.  

This week’s result isn’t as eye-catching as their 3-0 win over Crystal Palace, but Huddersfield looked exceptionally more qualified for life in the Premier League than fellow newcomers Newcastle.

Hilarious Disconnect Can’t Stop England’s Gorilla From Dominating Day 2 At FIFA Interactive World Cup

Like Winston Churchill in the face of endless hordes of German bombers, Gorilla is England’s great hope against three German competitors in semifinals of the FIFA Interactive World Cup, which was apparently trying to reenact the Battle of Britain on Thursday in London. 

Despite a disconnection in the first leg of the Xbox One division final, Gorilla took a stunning 6-0 lead into Friday’s second leg against CodyDerFinisher of Germany. In the PlayStation 4 final, Deto leads TimoX 1-0 after the first leg in an all-German affair. 

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