Europe

Kylian Mbappe Puts Monaco Ahead Of City 1-0

Monaco's Kylian Mbappe is a very good soccer teen. The 18-year-old scored his 17th goal of the season to put Monaco up 1-0 against Manchester City, and within a goal of advancing to the Champions League quarterfinals.

Mourinho Claims World Is Losing Balance, Cites Alarm Over Paying Footballer $355K A Week As Evidence

Jose Mourinho believes the world is off-kilter, and he fears for the coming generations. For example, Paul Pogba makes roughly $355,000 per week for Manchester United, and some people still have the audacity to criticize his performances.

Mourinho thinks there’s a plague of covetousness affecting the globe, that the fact that half of the world’s wealth belongs to the top one percent is only a problem because the other 99 percent of humanity is just a bunch of jealous motherf***ers that want all that money for themselves.

Kai Havertz Can't Play In The Champions League Because He Has A Test

Bayer Leverkusen's 17-year-old prodigy Kai Havertz has already appeared in the Champions League and appeared 13 times in the Bundesliga. He has the potential to be special.

But, as a 17-year-old, he still has to go to school, which is why he is missing the second leg of Leverkusen's round of 16 tie against Atletico Madrid.

Juventus Advance Past Porto Into UCL Quarterfinals

We should just post our recap from the first leg between Juventus and Porto, really, because they were basically the same game. 

Both teams looked dangerous, with Juventus controlling a bit more of the possession, until Porto did something stupid, Juventus scored and that was that.

This time, it was a Maxi Pereira red card for blocking the ball with an outstretched arm after a shot from Gonzalo Higuain. Paulo Dybala converted the penalty and the tie was over, with Porto's poor finishing helping to put a lid on things.

Leicester City's Achievement Moves Beyond Description With 2-0 Win Over Sevilla

Leicester City have defeated Sevilla 3-2 on aggregate (2-0 on the night) to advance to the Champions League quarterfinals behind goals from Wes Morgan and Marc Albrighton. Sevilla had Samir Nasri sent off in the 74th, a penalty saved by Kasper Schmeichel in the 80th and were ultimately left to rue their wastefulness in the first leg. This was Leicester's night. 

Leicester City manager Craig Shakespeare sent out the same XI that had defeated Liverpool and Hull City in his first two games in charge, Shinji Okazaki being the main beneficiary of the managerial change. 

Christian Pulisic Scored His Fifth Goal Of The Year

You all know the name. It's that (young) man again.

(takes off hat, places hand over heart)

Chicharito Is Bald Now

Chicharito lost a Super Bowl bet. We've all been there. We've all had to do some silly stunt or say something outlandish in a public place or, in the case of the Bayer Leverkusen striker, shave our head.

Gianluigi Donnarumma's Heroics Not Enough For AC Milan Against Juventus

This week in Serie A, results pretty much panned out how you’d expect. Roma thrashed Palermo. Pescara lost again. Fiorentina overcame a stolid start to snatch a last-gasp, undeserved winner. Juventus won at home. So there’s not much to talk about, right? Not quite.

Alex Morgan Scores A Superb Hat Trick For Lyon In The French Cup

After a disappointing SheBelieves Cup that saw Alex Morgan fail to score while totaling just over 90 minutes across three matches, the USWNT striker returned to Lyon, where she is on loan from Orlando Pride until the conclusion of the European season, and completed her first 90-minute match in six months and scored a hat trick.

Lyon were playing Rodez in the quarterfinals of the French Cup, and Morgan contributed three goals in their 6-0 victory. The second goal is definitely the pick of the bunch, a phenomenal finish from the international legend.

There Is A Wenger Out Movement That Involves "Wexit"

Arsenal fans have had enough of Arsene Wenger and his nonsense, what with the finishing in the EPL top four and making the Champions League knockout stage year after year. They want a little excitement. They want Wenger out.

Unfortunately, this is the way they are going about voicing their displeasure:

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