Europe

Real Madrid’s hopes of winning the treble suffered a blow as Celta Vigo scored an improbable 2-1 victory in the Copa del Rey quarterfinal first leg at the Santiago Bernabeu. Real will now look to overturn the deficit on January 25 at the Balaidos in Galicia. 

Zinedine Zidane has seen his total number of losses as Real Madrid manager double in the space of three days, although that speaks more for his remarkable success at the helm than it does any sort of crisis in the Spanish capital.

There wasn't much in the way of upsets in the third round of this season's FA Cup, but there was still magic. 

You might think Liverpool beating Plymouth Argyle 1-0 on Wednesday doesn't qualify as "magic". You would be wrong.

#Boooooooom

Don't adjust your telly.

Heather O'Reilly has made the move. The star midfielder, who scored 47 goals in 231 appearances for the USWNT, signed with Arsenal Ladies. Te move was officially announced by Arsenal on Wednesday.

"Having come over to Arsenal last year to train, I was very impressed with the club. The facilities are world class and they have a tradition of excellence at the club that I wanted to be a part of, I’m very happy to be here,” O’Reilly said.

We are delighted to announce there is a person in the world named Kevin Lasagna. 

Kevin Lasagna is an Italian striker recently signed by Udinese (though he will stay on loan at his current club, Serie B side Carpi, for the rest of the season), whose name is, again, Kevin Lasagna.

You better work hard, should you ever find yourself in a position where you're playing for current Chelsea manager Antonio Conte. Otherwise, he'll kill you. Really.

It's worrying how he doesn't even smile when he says "I prefer to kill him" man is dead serious pic.twitter.com/SFoq9mm4fW

— ️ (@HazardEdition) January 16, 2017

Jeison Murillo scored a worldy for Inter Milan Tuesday as his side defeated Bologna in the Coppa Italia, 3-2, to advance to the quarterfinals. Jeison Murillo reminds me of Jason Derulo and then I hear that little toy flute loop from “Wiggle” in my head.

Do-do-do-do-do-dooooo

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle

According to reports from German weekly sports magazine Sport Bild, Bayern Munich midfielder and Spanish legend Xabi Alonso is planning to retire at the end of the season. Alonso, who still plays a key role for the Bavarian club in the center of the park, is said to have informed the club of his decision to hang up his boots at the conclusion of this season.

After an endeavor to make the Old Lady young again, Juventus FC have a new logo:

Agnelli: "This new logo is a symbol of the Juventus way of living." #2beJUVENTUS pic.twitter.com/x5B3fapqGJ

— JuventusFC (@juventusfcen) January 16, 2017

Louis van Gaal, formerly the most entertaining manager in world football, has retired. We are sad now.

Van Gaal had everything we look for in a manager who doesn't manage the club we personally root for, which is to say: antics.

This article explains basically every reason van Gaal will be missed so much, but it predates both van Gaal's famous sideline flop against Arsenal and the time he said his players needed to be more horny.

Going into Sunday’s match against Everton, Pep Guardiola was faced with the dilemma of having neither of his preferred midfield options available for selection. After Ilkay Gundogan’s cruciate ligament injury in December and Fernandinho’s suspension, the unlikely pairing of Pablo Zabaleta and the once discarded Yaya Toure were left to enact the Guardiola philosophy.