Funny

Ousmane Dembélé is a hero of our time, “a man proud, moody, cynical, with defiance on his brow, and misery in his heart,” and capable of exhibiting both sensitivity and distrust in equal measure — look no further than former Atlético striker Kiko describing him as “the most contradictory player I’ve seen” as proof of his status as the melancholic romantic hero of the 21st century. But, to keep the Lermontov reference going, does an unusual beginning necessitate an unusual end?

During an extensive talk with La Gazzetta dello Sport, Juventus forward Cristiano Ronaldo spoke about why he deserves the Ballon d’Or every year, how he’s loving life in Turin and how he doesn’t like to be compared to other footballers . . .

From the creative studios that brought you Michael Bay movies and the Cavemen show, it's their latest and greatest idea — Europa League 2. Have you ever sat there on a Thursday, having watched the Champions League over the past two days, a bit let down from having to see Arsenal or Chelsea play some club you've never heard of and thought: "I wish this could be Watford at Qarabağ?" Yes? Well, you are in for a treat. 

No one likes a flopper — it’s one of the few things on which all football fans can agree.

You might begrudgingly appreciate when a flopper earns your team a penalty kick or understand that the nature of the high-stakes game encourages players to do whatever it takes to gain an advantage, but no one actually likes a flopper.

So when we recently discovered something called the Floppotron, we were intrigued.

We take you to Argentina’s Torneo Federal A (the third division) for a match between — according to the crests we see here — C.D.J.U. and C.A.yS.D.deB. Perhaps you know them better by their full names: Club Deportivo Juventud Unida and Club Atlético y Social Defensores de Belgrano. No?

Football is a tribal sport. It’s us against them, good vs. evil, blue versus a more nefarious shade of blue. Soccer fans invest so much of their lives into their respective clubs that losses become marks against their character, burdens upon their very existence. 

Before he retired a month ago, Rafael van der Vaart's career took him to some of the greatest clubs in the world, where he played with some of the legends of the game. He started in Ajax and went on to play with Hamburg, Real Madrid, Tottenham and Betis while also appearing more than 100 times for the Dutch national team.