Funny

Orlando City’s Hilariously Passive-Aggressive Press Release Ends Cyle Larin Transfer Saga

The Cyle Larin transfer drama finally came to a conclusion on Tuesday. Orlando City agreed to terms with Turkish giant Besiktas for the Canadian striker to move overseas, ending a weeks-long standoff between the involved parties, but not without some harsh comments from the Florida club. 

You Better Cech Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

In the 60th minute of Arsenal vs. Swansea City, with the score knotted at 1-1, Henrikh Mkhitaryan strode onto the field for his first action as an Arsenal player. Apparently, Arsenal goalkeeper Petr Cech was so enthralled by Mkhitaryan's grand entrance that he forgot to pay attention to the soccer game he was playing in.

The Goal! Film Has Done More For Newcastle This January Than Owner Mike Ashley

There was something we overlooked, fellow Newcastle United supporters. While we were busy putting all our eggs in the Amanda Staveley basket, we failed to realize that we are now entering a halcyon phase in our club’s history without the help of a petroleum-infused war chest. New boy Kenedy, freshly arrived from Chelsea on loan, has brought to our attention the catalyst of the Tyneside Renaissance: the Goal! The Dream Begins film.

Javier Mascherano's Chinese Soccer Nickname Is Way Better Than Carlos Tevez's

Javier Mascherano has quickly settled in with his new club in China, Hebai China Fortune. In fact, he already has a nickname: Pony Brother.

That, we must admit, is a far better nickname than the one given to fellow Argentinian and former Shanghai Shenua striker Carlos Tevez, a.k.a. Very Homesick Boy.

The 10 Best (Or Maybe Worst) Names For Miami’s New MLS Team

Major League Soccer is finally coming back to Miami, made official by Monday’s announcement by the league and some fellow named David Beckham. But we still don’t know the new Miami MLS team name. 

Here are some potential names we hope Becks seriously considers for his new team when it launches in a couple years. 

FC Utrecht Player Received One Of The Oddest Second Yellows We’ve Ever Seen

Ajax played at FC Utrecht on Sunday in the Eredivisie, a scoreless draw that was relatively unremarkable — except for the exploits of one Lukas Görtler. Utrecht’s German striker Görtler was sent off for a second yellow card, despite having been substituted off the pitch more than 30 minutes prior. 

Jordan Morris’ Sexy Abs Highlight USMNT’s Draw With Bosnia And Herzegovina

The U.S. Men’s National Team opened the 2018 season with a friendly against Bosnia and Herzegovina, a pair of teams who failed to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. The USMNT vs Bosnia match itself was a relatively drab 0-0 draw, but with about 15 minutes left U.S. forward Jordan Morris had his shirt ripped, by far the highlight of the match.

Morris, the Seattle Sounders product, was involved in a tussle on the left sideline when his shirt tore just enough to bare his smooth abdomen, which the cameras didn’t shy away from showing. 

What If The Trailer For "The Hurricane Heist" Was Connected To Soccer Somehow?

Hello, please watch the trailer for Best Picture shoo-in The Hurricane Heist and meet me on the other side for some soccer stuff.

That sure was something, huh? With the waves and the wind and the shooting and the yelling? I thought this was supposed to be a heist movie, not the Merseyside Derby, folks!!!

This is how PSG obtained the money for the Neymar transfer.

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