Footballers aren't like regular humans. They live different lives, and operate in completely different planes of existence. To wit: in my capacity as a professional soccer jokester, I have never had to take to social media to deny wiping a booger on the shirt of a professional colleague. Not even at the company Christmas party.
Dani Alves, however . . .
LAFC made a stirring debut in Major League Soccer on Sunday, winning 1-0 at Seattle thanks to a beautiful goal from Diego Rossi set up by Carlos Vela. It was a superb piece of play from Bob Bradley’s two designated players and the perfect way to kick off the new franchise. But that win was nothing compared to the recent LA derby victory.
Much of the talk surrounding LAFC’s inaugural season centers on how the other club in L.A. will react. Based on a recent friendly between the two, LAFC is well on its way to being the best in Southern California.
There are generally two ways to celebrate an amazingly great thing happening in one's life.
The first way is a celebration that is wild but contained enough to retain the appearance of responsible adulthood. This is generally reserved for adult-type happy occasions such as engagements, weddings, promotions, raises, job offers, grad school acceptances, etc.
The second is this:
This is how Pep Guardiola celebrated when Manchester City beat Chelsea.
Everybody loves goalkeepers. Except, of course, when they mess up and concede the stupidest goals. Recently, we have thought a lot about the things that make goalkeepers weird.
From strange training drills to incomprehensible attitudes, keepers have so many things that make them unique.
Para muchos, especialmente en América del sur, la Copa del mundo lo es todo. Cada cuatro años los fanáticos del fútbol se reúnen con la esperanza de que su país gane el trofeo. Para algunos (Alemania, Brasil), es algo que se puede lograr. Para otros (Inglaterra, Estados Unidos) es tan solo un sueño. Las esperanzas de Colombia de ganar la Copa del mundo están en el medio de estos, pero de verdad espero que Los Cafeteros no sean los ganadores en Rusia en julio.
Leon's shiny new (used) American import, Landon Donovan, celebrated his 36th birthday on Sunday, and his Leon teammates celebrated it with him by shoving cake into his face during training.
Y al final de nuestro entrenamiento, @landondonovan y Burbano fueron festejados así... pic.twitter.com/8CzSlRqBiC
The haters said this concept would never work as an article. "You'll never find 10 footballers who could conceivably be compared to restaurant chains via different quirks that they have, and even if you did, Facebook's algorithm would do to that article what white American settlers did to the buffalo herds roaming the Great Plains in the 1800s. Sure, it worked with clubs but it will never work with players."
The haters, as usual, were wrong.
Goalkeepers are a different breed from the rest of us. It’s bad enough they’re allowed to use their hands and train in the weirdest ways imaginable, but they also have a crazy fashion sense. In addition to being able to wear pants and oversized gloves, goalies with hats have long been a part of the game, though it’s not as common these days. So we thought it would be a good idea to look back at goalkeepers who wore caps to remind everyone of just how weird goalkeepers are.