Wayne Shaw is an overweight man in his mid 40s who likes to eat pies. We are all Wayne Shaw.
Sadly for overweight pie eaters everywhere, Shaw was fined and banned for two months from doing a job he was fired from eight months ago — all for eating pie.
If we were to compare soccer to handwriting, we would say Germany plays like Catholic nun schoolteacher handwriting, with neat little letters, nothing out of place, everything in line.
Spain plays like cursive, with little loops and swooshes you barely notice until you see the bigger object and marvel in its beauty.
Brazil plays like graffiti letters, big and colorful and saying more than the words themselves could.
When Hofstra and Maryland met last week in what was ostensibly a soccer match, no one could have guessed that the contest would actually turn into Rocket League.
But it did.
The Hofstra Own Goal Against @MarylandMSoccer Last Night... pic.twitter.com/dPwyl06skI
This weekend "Verrit" was unleashed on the Internet. Founded and run by Hillary Clinton supporters, Verrit is taking aim at the whole "fake news" thing they contend lost Clinton the 2016 Presidential Election. It is dumb.
From Gizmodo:
Near the end of England's 2-1 win against Slovakia in UEFA World Cup qualifying, England's precocious and occasionally hotheaded young midfielder Dele Alli became fed-up with somebody.
Dele Alli tells his marker that he's number one. #england #engsvk pic.twitter.com/Tk3VW1rU49
You know the trick, the one where someone gets on all fours behind someone else's back, and a third someone pushes the second someone, who topples over the first someone?
Coutinho and Neymar were feeling a bit mischievous at Brazil training, so they did that trick to Brazil's giant pissed-off bird mascot, Canarinho.
I can't get this commercial out of my head. It's been around for a few years, but I hadn't seen it until last night and, well . . .
(shudders)
I will have a tough time getting over this one. THE THINGS THESE EYES HAVE SEEN.
(shudders again)
Why does Cristiano Ronaldo have a pulsating spider on his tummy?
(shudders so hard I go into convulsions)
Finally, a bit of good news for Newcastle United supporters around the world. After a net spend of around $26 million in the summer transfer window (or roughly one-tenth of a Neymar if you prefer), The18 can confirm that the club have steered cleared of a dreaded investigation from UEFA over financial fair play.
This will undoubtedly bring great joy to manager Rafa Benitez, who was promised “every last penny” by owner Mike Ashley back in May and then landed Jacob Murphy from Norwich City as the club’s marquee signing.