Funny

Jamie Vardy Might Just Be Dobby The House-Elf Reincarnated

At times, Dobby was a bad house-elf. Employed by the Malfoy family, who he detested and worked against, Dobby warned Harry Potter of the actions of dark wizards and saved Harry’s life at Malfoy Manor. He’d subsequently do things like bang his face against cabinets, hit his own head with a lamp and iron his own hands for his disobedience. 

Neymar’s One Glaring Weakness Revealed

Neymar’s talents are known around the world. He’s one of the best providers in the world. He can score goals at will. He’s a masterful dribbler, he’s clutch and he’s a leader. There is, however, one glaring weakness in his person.

A Public Vote For San Diego’s New Club Name Has Footy McFooty Face In The Lead

With the loss of the San Diego Chargers to Los Angeles, San Diego has become a frontrunner for MLS expansion as the league looks to fill that void. Backed by SoccerCity San Diego’s vision for a 30,000-seat soccer-specific stadium within a 25-acre district of entertainment and eateries, the formative club are looking to build from the ground up by having the public vote on things like the team name, colors, logo and uniforms.

Real Salt Lake Fire Their Coach After Just Three Games

Only three games into the 2017 MLS regular season, Real Salt Lake have decided to fire manager Jeff Cassar. RSL have gone winless with one draw and two losses, and they've only managed to score one goal.

Cassar had been associated with the organization since 2007, serving as an assistant under Jason Kreis, including during Real Salt Lake's 2009 MLS Cup win. The team also reached the 2011 CONCACAF Champions League final.

Scotland And Canada Played The Worst International Ever

Scotland hosted Canada in an international friendly and are you still reading this? Less than 6,000 Scots even bothered to show up, their lowest home crowd since 1902. But the ESPN3 stream of Germany vs. England was down and for twenty minutes the only option was to watch the greatest shit on a stick match ever conceived transpire at Easter Road in Edinburgh.

There was absolutely nothing that wasn’t shitty about this game. The crowd? Historically bad. The weather? Crap — cloudy, windy, wet, freezing. The pitch? Metaphorical cowplop. The teams? animated feces.

Miguel Herrera Took A Cake To The Face

Miguel Herrera is back with the shenanigans, and we could not be happier about that.

Cristiano Ronaldo Would Like To Sell You Some Undies

Cristiano Ronaldo is more than just a footballer. Cristiano Ronaldo is a #brand.

Like all good #brands, Cristiano Ronaldo has a wide range of things you can pay money for. Shoes, for example. And blankets.

Oh, and undies.

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