Funny

I Think Frank Lampard Just Named This Guy 'Man Of The Match'

For those that've experienced relegation, it forever stings like the lasting memories of a once passionate love affair that only serve to propel you through the final months of simply going through the motions. 

You know it's ending, you refuse to accept it's ending, it ends. It crumbles into nothingness — just nightmares of a disinterested Michael Owen trodding around the halfway line of your heart and all your good intentions deflecting off Damien Duff and into your own goddamn net at a gleeful Villa Park.

From Banshees To BigFoot: The Best Names Of Defunct American Soccer Teams

What is a Xogg? Alternatively, what is a Zigg? The Xoggz and the Ziggx were the men's and women's semi-pro soccer clubs based out of Columbus, Ohio, in the mid-1990s.

According to fossilized internet forums (because there is no other discussion of the topic), these were made-up names that were going to be assigned meaning through a fan contest. Unfortunately, neither club survived long enough for that to happen.

While these clubs were short lived, their rise and fall illustrates the state of American soccer in the 1990s.

Feyenoord Fan Wins Shithouser Of The Day After Taunting Away Marseille Fans With PSG Merch

A clip of a Feyenoord fan vs Marseille fans during Thursday’s Europa Conference League semifinal has gotten over a million views, and it’s easy to see why. 

Feyenoord and Marseille played a thrilling five-goal first leg that saw the Dutch hosts take a 3-2 lead in the tie. When Feyenoord took a 2-0 lead after goals in the 18th and 20th minutes, one fan next to the Marseille away section revealed the badge of the visitors’ bitter rival.

Brenden Aaronson Returns, Scores, Wins Austrian Title, Runs Away From Beer Shower

After six weeks out with a knee injury that forced him to miss the USMNT's last window of World Cup qualifying, Brenden Aaronson returned to the pitch with RB Salzburg on Sunday and converted a penalty while his club secured a ninth straight Austrian Bundesliga title with four matches remaining.

Aaronson hadn't played since going the distance in Salzburg's Austrian Cup semifinal win over Wolfsberger on March 16, but he returned to the starting lineup against Austria Wien and lasted 64 minutes.

Alisson Responds To Jordan Pickford's Time-Wasting With Elite Shithousery

Liverpool narrowed Manchester City's Premier League lead to a single point with five matches to play following a 2-0 win over Everton in a heated Merseyside Derby on Sunday that also left the Toffees in the relegation zone. 

Despite conceding 83 percent possession at Anfield, Everton put up a fight and forced Liverpool to wait until the 62nd-minute for its opening goal.

Catarina Macario Scores The Most Bizarre Goal In Champions League History

Rising USWNT star Catarina Macario continued what's arguably been the finest season ever by an American abroad by scoring twice in Lyon's 3-2 first leg Champions League semifinal victory over French rival PSG at Groupama Stadium on Sunday.

Things started poorly for the home side when PSG's Marie-Antoinette Katoto diced Wendie Renard in the area before beating Christiane Endler at her near post in the sixth-minute. 

Patrik Schick’s Butt-To-Backheel Goal The Weirdest You’ll See Today

Patrik Schick became an instant legend last summer when he hit a 50-yard goal against Scotland in the 2020 Euros. The Schick goal vs Greuther Fürth on Saturday was from much closer range, but no less unique. 

Police Dog Becomes Adorable Nuisance, Steals Ball During Final In Brazil

Retrô defeated Náutico 1-0 in the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambuco final on Thursday night. I won’t be showing you the goal from Guilherme Mendes da Silva in the 69th minute. Instead, I’ll be showing you a police dog invading the soccer pitch, because that’s the type of content we know you really care about.

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