Funny

Colombian Team Earns Promotion With Goal That Absolutely Screams Match-Fixing

The Colombian soccer players’ association has called for an investigation into suspicious circumstances surrounding a key promotion match that was decided by a late goal one senior player called an “embarrassment for Colombian football."

Llaneros played Unión Magdalena at home on Saturday night and were leading 1-0 until the 95th minute, when the visitors scored twice in succession.

Video of the winning goal appeared to show the Llaneros players backing off their opponents and allowing them to score.

Nashville Misses All 4 Attempts In Shootout To Put Philly In Conference Final

Andre Blake stopped the first two shots of a penalty kick shootout and the No. 2 seed Philadelphia Union advanced to the Eastern Conference final for the first time with a 1-1 (2-0) result over third-seeded Nashville SC on Sunday at Chester, Pa.

David Ochoa’s Bewitching Season Of Young Shithousery Continues With Epic Upset Of SKC

MLS needs more David Ochoas. It needs more players that “enjoy being the villain” and who aren’t — in a league that prides itself on providing the joyful unpredictably of parity — afraid of taking the spotlight and shining it firmly on themselves.

It makes the atmosphere in stadiums better. It makes matchups more intriguing. It creates headlines.

Wintry Arctic Blast Causes Football Chaos Throughout UK

The UK was hit by a wintry blast from the Arctic this weekend as Storm Arwen brought high winds, freezing temperatures and heavy snowfall across the nation, while England and the Premier League experienced the brunt of it on Sunday.

The weather disrupted football matches across the land, most notably at Turf Moor as Burnley and Tottenham’s match was called off less than an hour before kickoff.

Burnley manager Sean Dyche, despite appearing pitch-side to monitor the situation in only a dress shirt, agreed with the decision.

Watch Weston McKennie Horrify Giorgio Chiellini By Explaining Ranch On Pizza

Weston McKennie is undoubtedly a Texan. And as any good Texan knows, all pizza is better with ranch dressing, whether it’s from New York, Chicago, Italy or Pizza Hut. Unfortunately, his Juventus teammates don’t seem to understand. 

Bayern’s Trip To Snowy Kyiv Was Full Of Beauty, Pain

There’s something about snow that brings out both the beauty and the pain of this world. Few things in life are more beautiful than watching frozen water crystals fall to the Earth, transforming the landscape. Few things in life are more painful than taking a blow to the crotch in below-freezing weather, altering your entire world view. Few things in life are more beautiful than a perfectly executed bicycle kick; few things in life are more painful than a complete whiff by a goalkeeper. 

Unreal Shithousing Leads To Straight Red Card At NCAA Tournament

Straight from the go I should admit that I did not watch Sunday’s NCAA Men’s Soccer Tournament second round match between Duke and UCLA.

By looking at the box score I can, however, deduce exactly what happened. It’s a tale as old as time.

Duke, the No. 7-ranked team in the tournament, was the favorite and hosting the match at Koskinen Stadium in Durham, North Carolina. But with its first and only shot on target of the match, UCLA took the lead in the ninth minute.

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