German Clubs

I've been waiting for a long time for the right opportunity to write about how dope Philipp Lahm is, and I've finally found it.

New Bayern Munich manager Carlo Ancelotti has reportedly handed over disciplinary duties to his captain, which is a great decision. 

Lahm is roughly 5'7" and 145 lbs, so he's not a physically intimidating dude, but, man, can you imagine Lahm telling someone to do something and them not doing it? I can't.

In April of 2013, Mario Gotze became the most hated man in Dortmund after it was announced that Gotze, a product of Dortmund’s youth academy, would be transferring to fierce rivals Bayern Munich. 

The timing of the announcement did little to help Gotze’s cause — it emerged on the eve of a momentous Champions League semi-final against Real Madrid. Munich had met Gotze’s release clause of €37 million and the midfielder was keen to play under Pep Guardiola, much to the annoyance of then BVB manager Jurgen Klopp.

Thomas Muller is one of the most dangerous attacking players in the world. He's deceptive on the ball, tricky in the box and lethal on goal.

Which sounds weird, because Thomas Muller is the crazy uncle of international soccer. Thomas Muller is international soccer's crazy uncle because he behaves exactly like your crazy uncle.

Your crazy uncle isn't crazy, per se, but he's definitely a little . . . touched. He "marches to the beat of his own drummer", or whatever.

The world champions have awoken in France, and the rest of the field have been warned. Germany’s comprehensive 3-0 victory over Slovakia in their round of 16 encounter gave evidence to the brilliance, balance and cohesion this German side is able to muster. 

Jerome Boateng scored a wonderful opening goal in the eighth minute, Mario gomez added a second in the 43rd and Julian Draxler capped a superb individual performance with Germany’s third in the 63rd minute. 

When Manuel Neuer continuously came hurtling out of goal against Algeria at the 2014 World Cup, most experts questioned the sanity of such a tactic. Obviously Germany would eventually be punished for holding such a preposterously high defensive line and for allowing their goalkeeper so many touches of the ball. 

Bayen Munich have won the DFB Pokal for a record 18th time.

Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich played out an intense and draining DFB Pokal final that ended up having to go to extra time.

As expected Bayern dominated the possession and the shot count, but Dortmund would not give in to their bitter rivals and refused to back down. 

When Germany announced their preliminary squad for Euro 2016, the accompanying names were a comforting who’s who of Die Mannschaft familiarity. There’s good old hulking center forward Mario Gomez, the ageless but totally aging Bastian Schweinsteiger and footballer turned living memorial, Lukas Podolski.

Alongside the talents of Thomas Muller, Mesut Ozil, Manuel Neuer and Jerome Boateng, this is a side that should certainly be favorites to win Euro 2016 as the reigning world champions.

A week after Bayern Munich was knocked out of the Champions League, ending their hunt for the one trophy capable of satisfying them, the club has announced they have signed both Mats Hummels from Borussia Dortmund and Renato Sanches from SL Benfica. The transfers, both reportedly worth around €35 million, are a reminder that Bayern Munich are still the kings of Germany, and arguably the highest profile club in the world. Order, you could say, has been restored.

Bayern Munich and Atletico Madrid faced off today in the second leg of the Champions League semi-finals. Atletico Madrid took a 1-0 aggregate lead into Allianz Arena, however 31 minutes in, Xabi Alonso's free kick equalized that advantage. Antoine Griezmann's 54th minute goal tied the match at 1 and gave Atleti the lead on aggregate. Lewandowski added a header in the 74th, but Griezmann's goal was the tiebreaker. Atletico advance to the finals and await the winner of Manchester City and Real Madrid. 

Bayern Munich vs. Atletico Madrid

Alonso 31'

Leicester City have won the Premier League, and the unfortunate job of being the follow up act to the greatest sports story of our time falls to Bayern Munich and Atletico Madrid, and if I’m being honest, the second leg of this tie doesn’t stand much of a chance against expectations like that.