Germany

Even When He Fails Spectacularly, Erling Haaland Creates Magic

Everything Erling Haaland does is magic, even when he fucks up.

Haaland was unable to add to his tally of 41 goals in his 35th match but still helped create Borussia Dortmund’s first goal in a 2-0 victory over Wolfsburg on Saturday.

After scoring upon Bundesliga’s return last week, Haaland was fairly quiet on the road this time around. In fact, BVB in general failed to create the number of chances you come to expect from one of Europe’s most exciting teams. 

This 2. Bundesliga Club Is Unbelievably Screwed, Impossible Not To Sympathize

The return of the Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga was a triumph for football fans in Germany and around the world. One club that didn’t get to celebrate was Dynamo Dresden. The entire team was placed under quarantine after two players tested positive on May 9.

Behind Closed Doors Positive: You Can’t Get Booed Off Your Own Pitch

Bayer Leverkusen thrashed Werder Bremen 4-1 on Monday in a match that showcased exactly why Leverkusen could be playing in the Champions League next season while Werder’s 40-year stay in the top division is almost certainly at an end.

Manuel Neuer's Played 35 Different Bundesliga Clubs. He’s Kept A Clean Sheet Against All Them

Champions Bayern Munich scored a goal late in each half to beat promoted Union Berlin 2-0 on their return to the Bundesliga on Sunday after more than two months out due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and protect their four-point lead at the top. 

There’s No Ignoring Robert Lewandowski’s Historic Season Now

Given it’s the only major league in action, there’s no ignoring the season Robert Lewandowski’s having anymore. On Sunday, the Bayern Munich striker scored his landmark 40th goal across all competitions this season, a staggering total that begs comparison: Cristiano Ronaldo has 25 and Lionel Messi has 24. 

The 31-year-old has never finished higher than fourth in Ballon d’Or voting (2015), but he’s going toe-to-toe with Lazio’s Ciro Immobile for this season’s prestigious Golden Shoe award. 

Without The Goat’s Black Magic, FC Cologne Suffers Late Collapse

I’m no Bundesliga expert. When it comes to FC Cologne, I’ve always known two things: (1) Lukas Podolski and (2) goats.

The club boasts one of the greatest crests in world football, which features the silhouette of the famed twin spires of the Cologne Cathedral and that dang ol' goat Hennes. 

The Eerie Reality Of Football’s Return

BERLIN — From social distancing substitutes using airport stairs, to disinfected balls and a potential television audience of one billion, the Bundesliga enjoyed a chequered restart as the first major sports league to resume amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

German soccer's top two divisions, suspended since mid-March due to the coronavirus, returned on Saturday with a schedule that included the Bundesliga's showcase — the Ruhr valley derby between Borussia Dortmund and Schalke 04 — as football-starved fans around the world tuned in to watch live action.

The Reason American Teen Gio Reyna Was A Late Scratch From His First BVB Start

American teenager Giovanni Reyna suffered an injury Saturday while warming up for his first start in the Bundesliga.

Breaking Down Borussia Dortmund’s Beautifully Weird Destruction Of Schalke

We knew it would be weird. We knew it would be a new normal. We knew we didn’t care.

Major European football returned from a two-month hiatus as the Bundesliga kicked off with six matches on Saturday, none bigger than the Revierderby between Ruhr rivals Borussia Dortmund and Schalke. 

Dortmund, without its menacing Yellow Wall behind it, throttled Schalke 4-0, instituting its own form of social distancing on the scoreboard. 

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