Goals

Christian Pulisic returned to the Borussia Dortmund starting lineup for the first time since March 16 on Saturday against Werder Bremen. Injuries and the form of Jadon Sancho had kept the 20-year-old American out of the first XI for about six weeks, but he returned in some style, scoring a marvelous goal in the sixth minute.

Initial team sheets suggested Pulisic might be starting at right back, prompting plenty of social media mavens to criticize Lucien Favre. 

Liverpool has had a tough week. 

First, Liverpool fans were criticized around the globe as a few jackasses acted like assholes while visiting Barcelona before the Champions League semifinal first leg. Then Liverpool played well but lost 3-0 in that match because Lionel Messi. On Friday, the Reds found out Naby Keita is out for two months after picking up a knock against Barça. 

Lionel Messi started Saturday’s match against Levante on the bench on Saturday. With a big match against Liverpool in the Champions League semifinals on Wednesday, Ernesto Valverde wanted to rest his star man, knowing any win in the final four matches would wrap up the LaLiga crown.

But after a scoreless first half, Valverde had no choice but to bring on his Argentine maestro — and you already know where this is going. 

Whether you’re Team Messi or Team Ronaldo, there’s no denying the goal-scoring ability of the Portuguese star. While it’s easy to point to powerful headers, long-range missiles and plenty of penalty kicks as reasons why the Juventus striker scores so often, the Cristiano Ronaldo movement in and around the box is a major reason why he is so difficult to contain.

Nicolas Belvito is the definition of a journeyman. 

The 32-year-old striker has played for 12 different clubs over his 14-plus year career, all in France. 

Now playing for Grenoble in Ligue 2, he may have scored the best goal of his career on Friday. 

The match was tied at a goal apiece when Belvito decided to take matters into his own hands (feet). 

Who doesn’t love a good Hulk smash?

No, not the radioactive green behemoth from the comic books, good old Givanildo Vieira de Sousa, better known as Hulk, the Brazilian beefcake renowned for his muscular appearance and ridiculously strong left peg.

Hulk, formerly of Porto and Zenit St. Petersburg, is in his fourth season in China with Shanghai SIPG in the Chinese Super League. He scored his first goal of the new campaign on Friday and it was classic Hulk.

What is the softest material in the universe? Is it a baby’s pure skin? The fur of your best dog/cat friend? A kiss from your mother? Your “My Pillow” that is more expensive than a pillow has any right to be? Or is it this Lionel Messi free kick vs Espanyol?

I’d argue it’s the latter.

Barcelona defeated Espanyol 2-0 on Saturday at the Camp Nou, moving at least temporarily 13 points clear of second-place Atletico Madrid in the LaLiga standings. Lionel Messi scored both goals, hitting at least 40 for a remarkable 10th straight season.

Heading into the season, there were legitimate questions over how Toronto FC would rectify its disaster of a 2018 MLS season. Sebastian Giovinco was shipped off to Saudi Arabia and Gregory van der Wiel was let go after a year by “mutual consent” from both parties, which is rarely a sign of good things behind the scenes.