Highlights

Gareth Bale has finally admitted what we’ve long known. In a recent interview the Wales and Real Madrid winger said his greatest flaw is that he is lazy.

Yep, just like you and me, Bale would rather sit on a couch watching Rick and Morty while eating Cheetos than score goals. And we have proof.

“What does a soccer captain do?” you typed into the search engine named Google. Here’s your answer in the form of 23-year-old Newcastle United center back Jamaal Lascelles. The Englishman skippered Newcastle’s return to the Premier League, and now he’s earned the Magpies a vital victory over Swansea City with a heartfelt block and buccaneering header.

Paris Saint-Germain almost broke the internet on Friday by announcing a starting XI against Metz that took all of the world’s money to assemble, including Neymar ($263M), Kylian Mbappe ($220M), Edinson Cavani ($77M) and Julian Draxler ($48M). Metz, by comparison, turned to Newcastle United flop Emmanuel Riviere. 

Esteban Cambiasso was a box-to-box midfielder who did a bit of everything, a prototypical Jose Mourinho player. The legendary Argentine retired on Friday at the age of 37 after two decades of play, most of which he played with his iconic bald dome.