Highlights

Christian Pulisic Registers Goal, Assist In Dortmund’s Rout Of Chicharito’s Bayer Leverkusen

18-year-old American attacker Christian Pulisic scored his third Bundesliga goal of the campaign and registered his fifth assist in Borussia Dortmund’s 6-2 victory over Bayer Leverkusen. 

Pulisic entered the match in the 44th minute after an injury to Marco Reus forced him off. The German international is expected to be sidelined until April with his latest injury setback. 

With Chicharito entering the match in the 66th minute and Wendell pulling a goal back for Bayer to make the scoreline 3-2 in the 74th minute, Pulisic’s composed finish dashed any hopes of a comeback.

Watch Miguel Layun's Nasty Free Kick Goal For Porto

Miguel Layun is primarily a fullback and defensive midfielder, but that doesn't stop him from ripping off free kicks like this one in Porto's 7-0 victory over CD Nacional de Madeira. 

Watch Messi's Incredible Solo Goal Against Celta Vigo

We're not going to wax poetic about Messi because we've done that many times already. La Pulga tore up Celta Vigo's defense to give Barcelona an early lead Saturday.

Antoine Griezmann Realizes That Passing Is A Huge Waste Of Time And Hits A Screamer

After a difficult November and December that saw him go nine La Liga matches without a goal at one point, Atletico Madrid forward Antoine Griezmann is quietly regaining the form that saw him tear up the European Championship and the opening fixtures of La Liga.

Griezmann salvaged a point for Atletico against Deportivo on Thursday after deciding that his two exchanged passes constituted a sufficient buildup and so hammered one from almost 30 yards out. The shot flew over the goalkeeper and into the right-hand corner. 

Lynn Williams Gives The USWNT The Win Against Germany In Their SheBelieves Cup Opener

The USWNT won their first game of 2016 with a 1-0 win over a tough German side. Lynn Williams scored the lone goal, but the real story of the match was USWNT manager Jill Ellis continuing to experiment with a back three.

Hey, Look, Bobby Wood Scored Today

Bobby Wood is quietly haveing a decent first season with Bundesliga side Hamburg. Wood has eight goals in 21 appearances for Hamburg, who are fighting for their lives in the Bundesliga, and just got knocked out of the Dfb Pokal by Borussia Monchengladbach. Hey, Bobby Wood scored though.

Hopefully if Hamburg do in fact get relegated some other Bundesliga team notices his athleticism and finishing ability and scoops him up.

Cristiano Ronaldo Rescues Real Madrid After Gareth Bale And Sergio Ramos Implode

Real Madrid salvaged a point after having Gareth Bale sent off in the 47th minute and Las Palmas leading 3-1 as late as the 85th minute, and it was all thanks to Cristiano Ronaldo.

Barcelona started the day by crushing Sporting Gijon 6-1, so Real Madrid knew that anything less than a victory would cut into their lead at the top. Real’s draw means that Barcelona are now atop the La Liga table by a point, although Los Blancos still maintain a game in hand.

Watch Olivier Giroud’s Scorpion Goal The Way God Intended: In Lego Form

Thanks to animator Weevil888, we get to relive Olivier Giroud’s fantastic scorpion kick goal against Crystal Palace in quality that makes Planet Earth II’s Ultra-high-definition look like garbage. Because now, for the first time ever, it’s been recreated in glorious Lego form. 

Olivier Giroud is as dashing a Lego person as you’ll ever see, Alexis Sanchez has got his blue gloves on and some Gunners supporters want “Wenger In” and some want “Wenger Out”. 

Andrew Carleton's First Touch Is Mind-Bending

Andrew Carleton is a 16-year-old who plays for Atlanta United. In September, he became the youngest-ever player to appear for a USL team when he came on for Chaleston Battery as a 15-year-old. He also — and I do not believe myself to be exaggerating here — has a fiirst touch that has been blessed by the soccer gods.

I mean, just look at this:

Mohamed Diame Scores One Of The Flukiest, Trashiest Goals You’ll Ever See For Newcastle United

Newcastle United travelled to Brighton & Hove Albion’s Amex Stadium for a match between first and second in the English Championship. With the top two sides in the division earning automatic promotion to the Premier League, matches really don’t get any bigger than this.

Albion took the lead through Glenn Murray after Murray, Newcastle’s Ciaran Clark and goalkeeper Karl Darlow all clashed together in a clusterf**k of cliche Championship football, the referee pointing to spot.

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