Humor

Is This The Worst Flop Ever Or A Terrible Case Of The Sunday Scaries?

I wasn’t at today’s Eredivisie match between Feyenoord and Utrecht at De Kuip (my boss won’t send me to Rotterdam), but I have a pretty good idea of how this scene between the home side’s Steven Berghuis and Utrecht captain Willem Janssen played out. It’s the ultimate enactment of the Sunday Scaries. 

This German Announcer Could Not Be Less Enthusiastic About A Late Match Winner

The weekend is finally here and we’ve got league football all around the globe. It may not be as exciting as everything we saw in the Champions League (or even the Europa League) this week, but it’s still enough to keep you awake. 

Or maybe not — at least for this German announcer.

This Horror Miss Is A Wonderful Slow Burn, Like That One Really Good Movie

Horror movies are great, but horror movies have a general massive flaw: Once the cat’s out of the bag, they can transform into an hour-long slog of scream-filled monotony. But a proper slow burner, that’s where the true power of the genre lies.

I’m talking The Witch, AMC’s The Terror, Let the Right One In, Hereditary … where the suspense and a general feeling of unease gradually reverberate through your system before THE HORROR OF IT ALL is revealed.

Only In Amsterdam: Ajax Scores Immediately After Bob Marley’s Son Serenades Stadium At Halftime

Ajax struggled to break down AEK Athens in the first half of their Champions League opener on Wednesday in Amsterdam.

Then some Bob Marley made everything feel alright en route to a 3-0 win for the home team. 

Ky-Mani Marley, son of the legendary singer Bob Marley, took to the pitch at halftime to get the crowd going. He sang "Three Little Birds" — with the crowd singing along — and the scenes were fabulous.

It’s Christian Pulisic’s Birthday So The 'USMNT Teen Sensation' Comments Are Officially Over

It’s September 18th and every lover of the game can consider Tuesday a great one because it is the day the UEFA Champions League returns. However, this Tuesday is also special because it marks the day of birth of the man who is quickly staking his claim as one of the best to play for the United States men’s national team.

Christian Pulisic, the oft-labeled “future” of the U.S. soccer, leaps into his second decade of living and thus, can no longer be called “one of the best teenagers in the world,” the “teenage talisman” or the “teenage sensation.”

This Zlatan Ibrahimovic-Michael Bradley Banter Might Be The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened In MLS

Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored his 500th goal on Saturday. It was a remarkable goal for a remarkable achievement. But amidst the craziness of Toronto’s 5-3 win over the LA Galaxy on Saturday was a budding Zlatan-Michael Bradley bromance. 

And by bromance, we mean they appear to hate each other.

Is New Philadelphia Union Mascot An Abomination Or Greatest Mascot Ever?

To steal a phrase from the Colbert Report: New Philadelphia Union mascot Phang: great soccer mascot or greatest soccer mascot?

Let’s rewind a bit.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s New Underwear Ad Is Out And Yeah, Seems About Right

I'm not a physician, but I feel like I don’t need a medical doctorate to diagnose Cristiano Ronaldo with a rather serious allergy to shirts and clothing in general. In the most recent ad campaign to promote his CR7 Underwear, the Juventus man proved yet again that he and the rest of the world are really better off when he's stripped down to his skivvies.

Kevin Prince-Boateng Says He Came Back To Serie A For The Pasta

Italy is famous for a few things. The country boasts some of the world’s most fascinating and important historical sites, high quality shopping and the best food. Like really, really amazing food. The cuisine is not only a reason for tourists to flock to Italy, but it also apparently has a major pull on top footballers who wish to ply their trade in the land of good eats. Just check out the Kevin Prince-Boateng pasta love.

Brazil Players Collectively Lose It After Coutinho’s Nutmeg On Filipe Luis

Brazil plays the second match of its post-World Cup tour on Tuesday after recording a solid 2-0 win over the USMNT in New Jersey last Friday. The Seleção will be looking to turn on the style against El Salvador — ranked 72nd in the FIFA World Rankings — at FedExField in Landover, Maryland after encountering an organized American side that was anchored by the stellar play of center back Matt Miazga.

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