Humor

The Thoughts And Notes Of A Spectator From 'The Coldest Game Ever'

The USMNT is one step away from qualifying for the World Cup after taking care of business on Wednesday night against an already eliminated Honduras side in "the coldest game ever."

I was on hand in Saint Paul to watch Kellyn Acosta again demonstrate why those who mocked his nomination for 2021 U.S. Soccer Male Player of the Year deserve to be ostracized from our country and to see Christian Pulisic exorcise that lecherous demon known as Thomas Tuchel.

Tim Akinola's Dundee Confusion And The Peculiar Link Between Scotland And Nigeria

A bit of confusion arose when Arsenal U-23 midfielder Tim Akinola received an offer for his first senior loan spell with Dundee United, and understandably so.

Watch: Denver Camel Has Better Touch On Wings Than Pulisic vs. Canada

The USMNT was humbled by a superior Canada 2-0 on Sunday in World Cup qualifying. The best American male player, Christian Pulisic, was largely ineffective during the massive showdown between the top two teams in Concacaf right now. The Chelsea winger attempted four dribbles, failing to complete a single one. 

Maybe Pulisic should’ve taken some notes from Sprout the camel.

Only Burnley Could Sign A New Striker And Immediately Cast Him As A Dinosaur In Jurassic Park

Nobody's cheering for the Public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia. The backers of Newcastle United are the world's richest owners — their wealth, with regards to the global football market, is limitless. 

Inquisitive Dog Barks Some Questions In Tata Martino Press Conference

Two years into the COVID pandemic, it's safe to say we've all experienced at least one Zoom mishap. Just a couple days ago, for example, my three-year-old daughter yelled "yeah!" after an idea I shared with my colleagues at The18. It wasn't a great idea, but the "yeah!" brought some laughs and a consolation comment from my boss: "At least someone liked it."

Neymar's Netflix Series Is Fascinating In Ways That Neymar Probably Didn't Intend

Warning: Spoilers Ahead (Brazil doesn't win the 2014 World Cup) 

"He's in constant chaos, you know? He often creates it," says Dani Alves with a laugh during the opening of Neymar's new Netflix documentary. "He seems to enjoy that perfect chaos."

And with that we not only have the basis of the title — Neymar: The Perfect Chaos — but a good synopsis of the polarizing footballer who delights in the roles of entertainer, savior, clown, antihero and villain without ever really knowing, or caring, which mask he's going to don on any given day. 

Ashley Hatch Scores A Stunner While Mic'd Up During USWNT Training

The USWNT wraps up its annual January Camp in Austin, Texas, on Friday after 10 days of work that's served to allow Vlatko Andonovski a closer look at some fresh faces, including 13 players (half the roster) with 10 caps or fewer.

John Terry’s Incessant Promotion Of Monkey NFTs Has Landed Him In Trouble And I’m Thrilled

The John Terry NFT drama has overwhelmed my Twitter feed, and I’m close to reaching my breaking point. Apologies NFT bros and gals, but your non-fungible tokens mean nothing to me and I hate them. Chelsea, the Premier League and UEFA are also looking into Terry’s nonsense over copyright concerns.

What Exactly Is Terry Doing?

The Chelsea legend has teamed up with “Ape Kids Club” to promote these ridiculous-looking baby apes NFT’s. 

Spotify Is Set To Become Barcelona's Main Sponsor, So We Made The Ultimate Barça Playlist

According to the latest reports, Barcelona is set to chip away at its $1.5 billion debt with a couple new shirt sponsorship deals following the expiration of its current contracts with Rakuten (front of the shirt) and Beko (sleeve). Spotify will become the new main sponsor on a five-year deal worth $384 million ($77 million per year) and Polkadot (a cryptocurrency) goes on the sleeve in another five-tear deal worth $113 million ($23 million per year).

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