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4. G** D*** IT, NANI! YOU HAD ONE JOB!

Joining Vidic during that 2011 Champions League Final was Nani, who loves dancing on the ball as if he were playing Dance Dance Revolution. The problem back then was that he didn’t really have much of a chance to dance because, well, Barcelona always had the ball, and let’s just say his defense lacks the same enthusiasm. 

In the lead up to Barcelona’s third goal, Nani was Manchester United’s first line of defense. It didn’t go well.    

5. Robben doesn’t like being caught up to. 

Arjen Robben just might be the fastest player in football. He is used to never seeing defenders again once he gets a step ahead of them with the ball. So you can imagine his consternation when Lionel Messi suddenly catches up to him and takes the ball away. 

6. Roberto Carlos finds out that Ronaldinho wasn’t lying. 

After Ronaldinho received the Ballon d’Or in 2006 he famously said, “This award says I’m the best player in the world. I’m not even the best player at Barcelona.” He was talking about Lionel Messi.

7. Messi sold a dream and Yaya Toure bought it. 

Yaya Toure used to be good at defending. No really, he was. Back in his Barcelona days he was just about the most promising all-round midfielder in the world, meaning he could attack just as well as he could defend. 

At Manchester City, that balance has apparently skewed towards the offensive side of things.

8. Germany might have won. Hummels on the other hand…  

Germany beat Argentina in the 2014 World Cup Final, but watching this and knowing the current state of Mats Hummels and Lionel Messi, you wouldn’t know it. 

Hummels’ ability as a defender is as debated as the attractiveness of Peggy Olson from Mad Men.