Men

After two months on the sideline following the injury he suffered during the Euro 2016 Final, Cristiano Ronaldo is ready to make his 2016-17 La Liga bow with Real Madrid.

The Portuguese forward spoke at the launch of his new perfume, saying: “I am fine, I’m going to play.”

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s signing for Manchester United is the final big European stop for a man who has found success in the Netherlands, Italy, Spain and France. The questions surrounding his ability to succeed in the Premier League, while undoubtedly a media creation, still seem to fuel his desire to stay at the top of his game at 34 years of age.

For the first time in about ten years, it must finally be relaxing to be a fan of the Brazilian national team. At the 2005 Confederations Cup, Brazil merrily captured the title with a squad containing the assurances of Kaka, Ronaldinho, Lucio and the phenomenal talents of Adriano and Robinho. That was the end of the fun.

Two goals from Jozy Altidore, one from Sacha Kljestan and another from Paul Arriola lifted the United States to a 4-0 victory over Trinidad and Tobago on Tuesday night in Jacksonville, Florida. The United States entered the match having not mathematically guaranteed their spot in the ‘Hex’, although elimination would’ve required a failure of momentous proportions.

However, the USA were brilliant on the night — particularly in the second half. Trinidad and Tobago almost kept the match even throughout the first, but Kljestan opened the scoring in the 44th minute.

Travellers looking to go to Liverpool in the near futire might find the going more difficult than usual, as Mario Balotelli and his agent Mino Raiola are currently burning every bridge leading to the city.

First, Raiola, who also represents Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Paul Pogba and also owns Al Capone's old house, hit out at Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp.

Here's what Raola told Gazzetta dello Sport:

"In the end, the higher-ups at Liverpool admitted that Klopp was wrong." 

Mario Balotelli's move from Liverpool to Nice has been finalized, which has unleashed a takepocalypse among soccer writers jockying to say the most outlandish things in the world about the 26-year-old Italian like they think whoever comes up with the hottest Balotelli take gets to be king of the press box.

So here's one more, f*** it.

Take: this move is good for all parties.

BOOM.

This move is good for Liverpool because they got an expensive player who wasn't ever going to play off the books.

With the FIFA 17 release date (September 27th) fast approaching, EA Sports have begun confirming some of the game's major details. Today, we learned who comprises the top 50 players on FIFA 17. While the decision might seem a contentious one, Cristiano Ronaldo has been named as the greatest footballer alive according to his FIFA 17 rating.

Here are the top 10 players on FIFA 17

10. David De Gea, GK, Manchester United: 90 

9. Robert Lewandowski, ST, Bayern Munich: 90 

8. Jerome Boateng, CB, Bayern Munich: 90 

It's been ten years since Cristiano Ronaldo first flirted with the prospect of leaving Manchester United for Real Madrid. We all know he wound up making the switch to the Santiago Bernabeu during the summer of 2009, but Ronaldo’s three extra years at United helped him become the Herculean figure he is today.

Ronaldo's initial itch to leave United stemmed from fear — a fear of backlash from the whole of England after his perceived role in Wayne Rooney's sending off during a 2006 World Cup quarterfinal.