Men

On the official Tottenham Hotspur website, the club invites you to support the side because “in a world full of Uniteds, Citys and Rovers there is only One Hotspur - Tottenham Hotspur.”  Spurs, undefeated in their last eleven matches dating back to the start of the campaign, are threatening to disrupt the established hegemony of familiar contenders. 

David Beckham, formerly known as a pretty good English footballer, is now mostly known for being really good looking. And now he's even more known for that.

Beckham was named People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive," to the surprise of approximately no one. Except for maybe him. Like Derek Zoolander, he evidently feels "there's more to life than being really really, really, ridiculously good-looking."

It’s not surprising that Neymar was a standout soccer player his entire life. It’s expected. He’s one of the best players in the world right now. That doesn’t just happen overnight. That, however, doesn’t make it any less impressive to see Neymar playing in Brazil age of 14, running around with professionals, including the likes of Robinho and Romario, and fitting in. Sure, the video below is of a charity match, and because of that I can guarantee none of the professional footballers in it are trying hard, but Neymar’s skill is still evident. 

Radamel Falcao is not one of the elite scorers in world soccer anymore. In less than two years, he went from being one of the most feared strikers to, when healthy, just another scrub on the Manchester United and Chelsea benches.

For several months, Falcao has exhibited a low level of football and an impressive goal drought, a far cry from the player who scored 70 goals in 91 games with Atletico Madrid between 2011 and 2013.

Manchester United have been having problems at striker, with their only three options being possibly-over-the-hill Wayne Rooney, midfielder Marouane Felaini and 18-year-old Anthony Martial. That's why it seemed to many an unwise decision when they sold 27-year-old Mexican striker Chicharito Hernandez to Bayer Leverkusen during the transfer window.

Hernandez has been on fire for Leverkusen, scoring eight goals in his last six games, propmting one prominent Manchester United player, goalkeeper David de Gea, to question the decision to sell Chicharito.

Messi is so good he’s automatic. When he plays you know that no one is going to really be able to stop him; sure he might mess up, but the amount of times he’s going to be tackled, have his pass intercepted or take a bad shot are too few to mention. It’s hard to balance incredibly ability, unpredictability, and consistency in the way Messi has. That balance is what has made Messi the player he is today, and that balance is manifested in Messi’s signature pass. 

There’s something incredibly satisfying about seeing Neymar get embarrassed by someone, anyone. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s usually the one doing the embarrassing, and that he’s getting so good at it that it’s scary, and that makes it satisfying to see the tables turn. It reminds people that he’s not superhuman, just really-really-good-human. Neymar gets embarrassed by freestyler Sean Garnier in the vine below, and it’s petty, but no one ever said petty couldn’t be satisfying. 

Messi is back in training for Barcelona, and to commemorate that event, he's bought himself a new car. Or, at least, we've never seen it before. And, obviously, we have no idea why he bought it. When you have as much money as Messi does, you don't really need to rationalize any of your purchases. You can just make them.

Regardless of his motives in buying it, Messi showed up to training in a sweet blue Audi R8. If you don't think his Audi R8 is cool that's probably because you don't have one and are jealous.