National Teams

It’s difficult to quantify what exactly has gone down here in Panama City. For one, some sensational work from 18-year-old Christian Pulisic gave the United States a 1-0 advantage. However, Panama went straight back at the other end to equalize, making the scores level at 1-1 after 45.

Here’s what we do know: Clint Dempsey is now one goal shy of Landon Donovan’s all-time mark for the United States. Christian Pulisic is the best 18-year-old in the history of the CONCACAF region. We’ve got a feisty one in Panama City. The second half promises to be a classic.

Mexico took hold of the Hex with a controversial 1-0 victory over Trinidad and Tobago at the Hasely Crawford Stadium in Port of Spain. Mexico had opportunities to add to their total, but the Soca Warriors will be aggrieved to have had a first half goal incorrectly chalked off for offside.

Oman and Bhutan played an Asian Cup qualifier Tuesday, with Oman winning 14-0. This is about as bad a beatdown as you can get in soccer, and we spent some time thinking about what went through the minds of the losing team.

The 14 Stages Of Losing 14-0

1. Oh no! The other team has scored! We must try to score also and tie the game!

2. Ah well, 2-0 is the most dangerous lead in soccer. We can do this boys!

3. We can still come back. Stranger things have happened.

Matchday seven has passed in Asian 2018 FIFA World Cup qualification, and the usual suspects have emerged as favorites to gain passage to Russia. Iran and South Korea control their own destinies in securing Group A’s automatic qualification spots, while Japan, Saudi Arabia and Australia are vying for the top two positions in Group B.

The only real surprise is Uzbekistan’s standing of third in Group A, meaning that a country that’s never been to a World Cup before is on course for the playoff against Group B’s third place side.

The FIFA Disciplinary Committee has handed Lionel Messi a suspension of four games for his altercation with an assistant referee following Argentina’s 1-0 victory over Chile on Thursday. The ban goes into effect immediately, ruling Messi out of Argentina’s match against Bolivia in La Paz later today.

If everything continues the way it is, the 2018 World Cup will be a 48-team tournament instead of the 32-team format we have now.

Now, how exactly will this expanded world cup tournament work?

Obviously the addition of all of these teams will have to result in reformatting the World Cup process, so the group stage will have 16 groups of three teams each, with the top team moving on from each group. From there on out, the knockout stage will be the same.

The Icelandic baby boom is here, y'all. Thanks, we presume, to the effectiveness of the long throw and the inadequacy of the England National Team, a hospital in Iceland reportedly gave out a record number of epidurals to pregnant women during the weekend of March 25 and 26.

This weekend marked nine months after Iceland's historic victory over the Three Lions, and now we know how the people of Iceland celebrated.

I bet there were strategically-timed viking claps.

Back on October 13, 2013, Panama were on the verge of their first-ever World Cup finals. Needing Costa Rica to defeat Mexico in San Jose was the first part of the equation, but the more daunting task was the one facing them — they’d have to defeat the United States in Panama City.

With the United States having already qualified as Hexagonal winners, a largely second-string American team gave Panama the conviction that history could be made on the day. Panama took an early lead through Gabriel Torres, only to be pegged back by American defender Michael Orozco.

The two most successful international matches in Andorra's recent history were a 0-0 draw with Finland in 2005 and a 0-0 draw with the Faroe Islands Saturday. In between, they lost 58 games in a row.

Andorra's population is roughly 80,000, and the stadium in which the Faroe Islands match was played, the Esatdi Nacional, holds just over 3,000.

Here are some highlights from the Faroe Islands match. I don't know why I'm showing them to you, or why you would want to watch them, but here they are.