Opinion

Scotland hosted Canada in an international friendly and are you still reading this? Less than 6,000 Scots even bothered to show up, their lowest home crowd since 1902. But the ESPN3 stream of Germany vs. England was down and for twenty minutes the only option was to watch the greatest shit on a stick match ever conceived transpire at Easter Road in Edinburgh.

There was absolutely nothing that wasn’t shitty about this game. The crowd? Historically bad. The weather? Crap — cloudy, windy, wet, freezing. The pitch? Metaphorical cowplop. The teams? animated feces.

Who would’ve thought we’d ever get here?

Some people have speculated that Manchester UNited are ready to offer Rooney compensation to buy out the rest of his £250,000-a-week contract and see him off.

Rooney's deal with United until the deal expires in 2019.

While it is tough to believe they’d let Rooney go for free after such a long and fruitful career with the club; if we were only to analyze his performance this season, the move makes perfect sense.

It’s June 2004, and England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson has just confirmed his squad for EURO 2004 in Portugal. The 23-man team is highlighted by 18-year-old Everton sensation Wayne Rooney. Aston Villa forward Darius Vassell, although an injury doubt, has been named in the squad at the expense of 21-year-old Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe.

It could be argued that this was Jose Mourinho’s masterplan all along against Rostov at Old Trafford, to sit back, control possession against an ultra-defensive setup and just let Zlatan Ibrahimovic do his thing.

It worked, and no one will remember this game tomorrow. Manchester United are through to the quarterfinals of the Europa League thanks to a beautiful assist from Ibrahimovic. United required a phenomenal save from Sergio Romero at the death to avoid extra time, and everything else made you want to be crushed by the skull of Marouane Fellaini. 

Robert Lewandowski should be considered one of the best players in the world. He should be alongside the likes of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.

The Polish striker has been a dominant force in the Bundesliga for seven years now, and it seems like his performances are only recognized by a very narrow segment of football fans. He does not receive the same sort of recognition that Messi and Ronaldo do on a global scale.

Before Wednesday’s historic events at the Camp Nou, everyone had agreed that Barcelona would need to play a perfect match to turn the tide against Paris Saint-Germain. They would need to do unto PSG as PSG had done unto them. Sure, Barcelona could score four goals, but could they keep Edinson Cavani, Lucas Moura, Julian Draxler and Angel Di Maria off the scoresheet? 

Barcelona’s historic comeback on Wednesday night will serve as a landmark for Champions League football for as long as the competition exists. After that horrific performance in Paris that saw the Catalan side thrashed 4-0, it’s safe to say that nobody outside of Barcelona thought they could mount a comeback. Yet somehow they managed to pull through to the quarters, even with giving up the away goal that many expected to be their demise. 

After appearing a shadow of his former self throughout the season, particularly over a wretched three-month period stretching from early December through late February when Wes Morgan outscored him by plundering a goal against Derby County,  Riyad Mahrez sprang to life with a magical and all-important goal against Hull City on Saturday.

After twisting and turning at the top of the box, the Algerian scored his fourth goal of the Premier League season, lifting Leicester City five points clear of the relegation zone in the process.

La Liga's title race has become extremely tight after last week’s midweek games, which saw Real Madrid dramatically drop points at home to Las Palmas while Barcelona and Sevilla both enjoyed wins to collect three valuable points.

Although they still have a match in hand, Real Madrid now trail the Catalans in the table.