Premier League

Financial Fair Play Not Even The Least Bit Interested In Investigating Newcastle United

Finally, a bit of good news for Newcastle United supporters around the world. After a net spend of around $26 million in the summer transfer window (or roughly one-tenth of a Neymar if you prefer), The18 can confirm that the club have steered cleared of a dreaded investigation from UEFA over financial fair play. 

This will undoubtedly bring great joy to manager Rafa Benitez, who was promised “every last penny” by owner Mike Ashley back in May and then landed Jacob Murphy from Norwich City as the club’s marquee signing. 

Fantasy Premier League Tips For The 2017 Season

The Fantasy Premier League is a fickle game. You need all the help you can get in this age of endless information. So, today we will bless you with vital information that will surely bring you a Fantasy EPL championship. 

We will give you two players that you NEED to have for each position, expect goalkeeper because ain't nobody got time for that -- and 3 players you must avoid at all costs.

Let's get to it. Lets start with two defenders you should have on your squad.

Defenders:

Wenger Watch Transfer Deadline Special: At Least Alexis Sanchez Is Still On The Team

Welcome to a Wenger Watch transfer deadline special, where we will come to a conclusion on Wenger IN vs. Wenger OUT based on the deadline day happenings at Arsenal. 

The deadline day happenings at Arsenal were pretty underwhelming really. Manchester CIty is all mad because they don't have Alexis Sanchez, Arsenal have Alexis Sanchez but not Thomas Lemar or Alex-Oxlade Chamberlain, who has inadvertantly become the new Banter King of Merseyside.

All Signs Point Toward 2017-18 Being The Year Of The Pog

August was a kind month for Manchester United and France midfielder Paul Pogba. United currently sit atop the Premier League table after trouncing West Ham, Swansea and Leicester by a combined scoreline of 10-0, with Pogba scoring two goals and registering an assist in three dominating individual displays. 

He was duly awarded the club’s Player of the Month award, and with Nemanja Matic now anchoring the midfield alongside him, the Frenchman used August as a showcase of things to come.

Arsenal Fan Sings Godawful Song In Hopes Of Making Alexis Sanchez Stay

6 Salacious Transfer Rumors That Are Too Legit To Quit

The closing of the transfer window sees various plot lines reach a unifying crescendo: Leicester City, with their Premier League title and Champions League adventure now firmly behind them, are about to be torn apart. Monaco, already torn apart, are subject to further tearing. Barcelona still have Neymar cash to flush, and they’re giving any wide player that scored more than 10 league goals last season the eye.

In The Midst Of Being Robbed By Other EPL Teams, Arsenal Have Been Robbed By Robbers

News broke Wednesday that late Tuesday night burglars broke into the Emirates Stadium in London and took off with “a large quantity of merchandise” from Arsenal. A police statement said the suspects were in a car and two mopeds.

The police did not say exactly what was stolen but we at The18 have obtained exclusive police sketches of the suspects.

It's Hard To Believe, But Chelsea Actually Spends Its Money Wisely

Since Roman Abramovich bought Chelsea in June 2003, the London club has been known as one of the more extravagant spenders in the transfer market. But since shelling out $70 million to Liverpool for Fernando Torres in January 2011, the Blues have been fairly conservative in the transfer market in stark contrast to the rest of England.

This isn’t to say the Blues have stopped spending — in fact they’re spending as much as they ever have — but in a market where everyone else is paying massive sums for every player, Chelsea’s transfer business has stayed relatively the same.

I Saw A Plane. It Probably Has Virgil Van Dijk On It

With rabid Liverpool fans having allegedly crashed a flight-tracking website while investigating Virgil van Dijk's whereabouts, it has become clear that technology cannot be trusted at this moment. We must know where Virgil van Dijk is and what he is doing, and if technology proves unreliable to our cause then said technology must be binned. As such, I have taken to staring up at the sky in search of transfer news, and that has led me to a stunning revelation.

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