“Hey, I got a hockey record. I took my skate off and tried to stab somebody. I’m the only guy who ever did that.” - Happy Gilmore
A Copa Libertadores U-20 semifinal match between Uruguay’s Club Atletico River Plate and Ecuador’s Independiente del Valle did not pass without incident yesterday. No, it did not.
Ryan Mason, aged 26, has announced his retirement from football according to a club statement from Hull City. According to the club, “Ryan has sought the guidance of numerous world renowned neurologists and neurosurgeons who have all advised that a return to competitive football is not advised.”
Wednesday’s Copa Libertadores match between Brazil’s Chapecoense and Uruguay’s Nacional at the Arena Conda in Chapeco was marred by one of the most compelling arguments ever made for misanthropy.
We interrupt your regularly-scheduled workday to bring you an alarming development from Russian agriculture ministry crop farming department head Pyotr Chekmarev, who, at an agriculture event in Moscow, said the World Cup could be overrun by locusts this summer.
West Ham have suspended director of player recruitment Tony Henry following allegations of racism.
Per the Daily Mail, Henry is reported to have told agents West Ham were not interested in signing any African players during the January transfer window. When pressed, Henry is alleged to have admitted wanting to limit the number of African players on the team because "they have a bad attitude" and "cause mayhem" when not in the side.
Jurgen Damm is not having a good 2018. Just weeks after burning his face in a fireworks accident, the speedy Tigres winger was caught on video being escorted out of an El Pollo Loco in handcuffs.
El vídeo donde sacan a Damm del baño del Pollo Loco en Gonzalitos y Leones... pic.twitter.com/D4q3oxyWGs
Club America has issued a statement regarding the latest boneheaded actions of attacker Darwin Quintero after the Colombian international attempted to smash a football at the back of ESPN reporter Marcelino Fernandez’s head during training.
After scoring only three goals in his last 29 appearances for America, it should come as no surprise that the 30-year-old missed the target. Las Aguilas were actively shopping Quintero before the start of the Clausura season, and his latest piece of work isn’t going down well at the club.
Many people do not care for Paris Saint-Germain. Yes, Neymar, Edinson Cavani and Kylian Mbappe are three of the most enjoyable footballers to watch on the planet, but together, the whole sum of PSG can aggravate with how much it insists upon itself.
Ligue 1 referee Tony Chapron has been suspended by the French Football Federation (FFF) “until further notice” following his insanely villanous actions at the end of Paris Saint-Germain’s 1-0 victory over Nantes on Sunday.