Tottenham

Peter Crouch has got jokes. This has already been established, but Crouch re-established it after the Champions League draw Thursday when he saw Tottenham, his former club, had once again been drawn with Real Madrid.

Real Madrid for spurs . If they don't have an idiot sent off early they have a great chance

— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) August 24, 2017

Can you hear it? Playing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again? It’s the Champions League anthem. The best thing to happen to Tuesdays and Wednesdays since Frasier went off air is nearly back. 

Thursday marked the Champions League group stage draw in Monaco but we know you only care about two things, so let’s get them out of the way.

Qarabag was drawn into Group C and Christian Pulisic is in Group H, with two more matches against Real Madrid in store, not to mention a date at Wembley. 

With Liverpool’s 6-3 aggregate pasting of Hoffenheim on Wednesday, the English Premier League put five clubs in the Champions League for the first time. That’s five chances for English fans to cry over their clubs failing to come through in the continental competition.

Chelsea won the Champions League in 2012 but since then English clubs have barely sniffed the final. In 2015, no EPL team even made it past the Round of 16.  The days of 2008 — when the EPL had three of the four semifinalists, including both teams in the final — are barely visible in the rearview mirror. 

The fourth season of the Indian Super League doesn’t begin until November 17th, but the quasi-big-name signings are starting to create a real buzz here within The18 office. 

Back in August, Atletico de Kolkata (ATK) announced that they’d come to terms former LA Galaxy striker Robbie Keane. The 37-year-old Irishman will take the pitch for his new club after a year off.

Chelsea got their title defense back on track with a massive 2-1 victory over Tottenham in their temporary Wembley home on Sunday. Wing-back Marcos Alonso scored the first ever Premier League goal at Wembley with a sweetly struck free kick, and with a 1-1 draw looking likely, he swept forward to score the winner in the 88th. 

Alonso’s piece of brilliance in the 24th minute was the highlight of an enthralling opening 45 minutes between two of England’s best sides.