Transfers

As we traverse the long, hot and boring summer, we find ourselves lost amid a desert of dullness — a boring expanse of time in which no football is actually played. No club football. No proper international tournament. Even the youth football has finished. Teams are barely beginning their preseason. Quite literally, there is no football to talk about. But the machine never ceases. Which brings us to the transfer market.

The James Rodriguez experiment at Real Madrid is all but finished. The 25-year-old Colombian attacker is moving to Bayern Munich on a two-year loan deal with an option to buy.

Not coincidentally, Bayern are now coached by the man who brought Rodriguez to Real Madrid in the first place, Carlo Ancelotti. Rodriguez moved to Madrid from Monaco after the 2014 World Cup, at which he won the Golden Boot, but he failed to consistently crack Real Madrid's starting lineup. Bayern Munich now have two World Cup Golden Boot winners, as Thomas Muller won the award in 2010.

You know what they say about a player with big feet?

Manchester United fans hope it means he’s great in the box. See, new Red Devils signing Romelu Lukaku wears big boots. 

One little kid found out just how big they are when he somehow snuck past security and into the United locker room while the club trained at UCLA ahead of playing the L.A. Galaxy on Sunday. 

Wayne Rooney is coming home. The 31-year-old Manchester United legend will once again don the blue jersey of boyhood club Everton. In some aspects, it's like he never left.

“I’ve kept it quiet for the last 13 years but I’ve been wearing Everton pyjamas at home with my kids,” Rooney said after the transfer was announced.

 | Once a Blue, always a Blue...

Mexico goalkeeper Memo Ochoa is staying in Europe after his contract with Spanich club Granada has run out. The 31-year-old will ply his trade in Belgium next season for Standard Liege.

As with any transfer, various fan groups tweeted out ther excitement for the new arrival. One Standard Liege group need to work on their photo selection.

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.” -Joseph Campbell, The Hero’s Journey 

30-year-old Mexico international Andres Guardado has transferred from PSV Eindhoven to Real Betis and signed a contract that’ll reportedly run until 2020, ending Los Angeles FC’s pursuit of the midfielder for their debut season in Major League Soccer.