Out Of The Frying Pan
Per the Chicago Tribune, Bastian Schweinsteiger is on the move to the Chicago Fire, and could join the team as early as the middle of next week.
Let me get on the record saying this is going to go terribly. The Fire are awful, and don't have the athleticism in midfield to compensate for how creaky Schweinsteiger has become. It'll be like the first year of the Andrea Pirlo NYCFC experiment, only worse.