Zack Steffen had himself a game on Thursday night. The young Columbus Crew goalkeeper saved everything kicked, headed and scuffed his way against this season’s darlings Atlanta United in an MLS Knockout Round playoff.
Look, I don't want to talk about how short Cristian Techera is for a long time, because it really doesn't matter. If you must know, he's 5'2".
The important thing about Techera, though, is how freakishly good he is at kicking a soccer ball. The Vancouver Whitecaps, Techera's team, demolished the San Jose Earthquakes, who admittedly aren't very good, 5-0. The moment of the match belonged to Techera and Techera only.
Y'all, the Chicago Fire's back line is just awful. That was the main takeaway as the New York Red Bulls unceremoniously dumped the Fire out of the MLS playoffs, 4-0.
In (near) Chicago, no less.
New York's omnipresent Brit opened the scoring seven minutes in.
Atlanta United has set the standard for MLS expansion teams this year, from breaking the MLS attendance record to becoming the fourth expansion team to make the playoffs in its inaugural season. Now that the playoffs are here, Atlanta has a legitimate chance to take home the MLS Cup.
In the end, Netherlands and FC Barcelona attacker Lieke Martens was the deserved recipient of 2017’s The Best FIFA Women’s Player award (an accolade presumably named by a toddler or Sepp Blatter). But the three-woman shortlist for the prize continues to flip the bird at anyone who wishes to try and make sense of it all.
The man who will start the rebuilding process for U.S. Soccer is Dave Sarachan, who was named interim USMNT coach for the team’s final match of 2017, a November friendly against Portugal. That the press release from U.S. Soccer mentioned Sarachan exactly once in six paragraphs tells you all you need to know about the new coach.
Julie Ertz did it again Sunday. The USWNT defender scored in a 6-0 rout of South Korea, her fifth goal of 2017. She’s now tied with Alex Morgan for most goals scored for Team USA this year. Julie Ertz’s goal-scoring ability makes her the Sergio Ramos of women’s football.
Ertz headed in the United States’ fourth goal of the first half for her 13th goal in international play, most among active American defenders. It was her second goal in four days and fourth in her last four national-team appearances.
Just like last season, the Seattle Sounders are rolling into the MLS playoffs. Unfortunately, just like last season, they’ll have to make due without Clint Dempsey — at least for the first leg of their Western Conference semifinal. Dempsey was issued a straight red card in the 24th minute of the Sounders' final regular season match on Sunday after the VAR was consulted to spot an elbow from the USMNT legend on Colorado Rapids defender Mike da Fonte.
You could forgive Bill Hamid for electing to stay with DC United for the rest of his playing career — he’s got a pretty good thing going in the nation’s capital. Having risen through the ranks of the club’s youth system, Hamid established himself as the team’s No. 1 over the course of eight stellar seasons, including a 2014 campaign that saw him named MLS Goalkeeper of the Year.
On Sunday, MLS decision day, Jozy Altidore tied Toronto FC up with Atlanta United, 1-1 (Michael Parkhurst, what are you even doing over there). During his celebration, a fan threw a beer at him.
Jozy tried to head the beer, but was unsuccessful. Luckily, Sebastian Giovinco was lurking behind him and cleaned the situation up.