Videos

You might be angry with the headline, but it’s the truth. It’s not click bait, a click bait article, by definition, doesn’t give you the information promised in the headline. Theo Walcott, as now certified by the Guinness Book of Records, has better control than Lionel Messi. It's the truth, I mean, if you can’t trust the Guinness Book of Records, who can you trust?  

So it’s a subjective form of control, and by subjective I mean it’s based off of who can control a ball dropped from a ridiculous altitude, but it’s a form of control no less.

When a normal person wakes up, there's a process to be gone through before one gets enough energy to go outside and be a person. Generally there's some combination of a shower, breakfast, coffee and maybe exercise before one is ready to meet the day. Humans are ike diesel engines. It takes us a while to get properly revved up.

Except for Cristiano Ronaldo, who may not even be a human, just a 6'2" bundle of pure energy, hair gel and abs, and who gets out of bed like no human being before him.

One of the most heartbreaking stories to come out of an event that spawned many heartbreaking stories is that of Thiaguinho, the Chapecoense player who found out his wife was pregnant just days before he and 18 teammates were killed in a plane crash.

The video of Thiaguinho's teammates surprising him with the news is almost too much.

It’s the EFL Cup so everything must be taken with a grain of salt, but Manchester United’s dominate victory over West Ham in the quarterfinals saw United resemble a waking giant. It must also be said that West Ham’s performance was totally in line with their 2016-17 season so far — disastrous.

With only two minutes gone, the Red Devils opened the scoring after a brilliant exchange between Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. With both Paul Pogba and Marouane Fellaini suspended for the match, Mkhitaryan was handed a rare start and setup Ibrahimovic with a slick back heel.