WTF

Christian Beck Scored One Of The Oddest Back-Heel Goals We’ve Ever Seen

FC Magdeburg scored a 2-1 derby win over Hallescher on Saturday in Germany’s 3. Liga in front of 22,481 fans. The impressive crowd — more than many MLS matches despite being third tier — saw an absurd Christian Beck back-heel goal the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

A 29-year-old striker who has spent his career in the lower divisions of Germany, Beck made the most out of a mistimed jumped to score the opener for Magdeburg, somehow.

Here Comes A Monkey With The Match Ball

A macaque monkey (fun fact: the most widespread primate genus aside from humans) delivered the match ball in a Japanese J-League match over the weekend while threaded out in full Cerezo Osaka kit. The monkey attempted a brief session of free styling before picking up the football and delivering it to the referee.

It’s not as riveting as War for the Planet of the Apes, but you do get the feeling that an evolved chimpanzee like Caesar would absolutely hate something like this.

Nike’s Back At It Again With Their Horribly Generic Kits For The World Cup

So remember how in 2016 Nike rolled out all their international kits with the Vapor template? You might not because it was a complete non-event. The USA looked like Portugal looked like England looked like PSG. The kits were “modern” in design, which is PR speak for indistinguishable, homogeneous, money-grubbing attire. 

Well, here comes the 2018 World Cup, the perfect time to check all those boxes again. But instead of the Vapor template, we now get the Aeroswift template (the collar is different!). Just take my $120 now.

Here’s Portugal…

The Iraqi Super Cup Was Ridiculously Nutty

Iraqi soccer doesn’t exactly get a lot of exposure in the English-speaking world, but Friday’s Iraqi Super Cup between Baghdad rivals Al-Zawraa and Al-Quwa Al-Jawiya in Karbala was absurdly ludicrous and ludicrously absurd. It was a match you had to see to believe. 

Most readers will probably never have heard of Al-Zawraa and Al-Jawiya so we’ll spare you the details and get right to the silliness. 

New Zealand Is Really Taking This World Cup Exit Hard

On Wednesday, New Zealand capitulated in their quest for the World Cup, losing 2-0 to Peru after a scoreless first leg. Peru, obviously was ecstatic, declaring the following day a national holiday. New Zealand, on the other hand, has taken the loss pretty hard, if this alarming item from the New Zealand Herald is any indication:

Caleb Porter Reportedly Out As Timbers Coach, USMNT Rumors Swirl

In a league where parity reigns unlike any other, the tenure of Caleb Porter as manager of the Portland Timbers will go down as one of the most wildly successful in Major League Soccer’s 22-year existence. According to reports, that tenure has reached a shocking conclusion — by mutual consent — after a season in which the Timbers finished at the top of the Western Conference.

Maradona Thinks He Should Come Back And Coach The Argentina National Team

One big reason Argentina have failed to win a major trophy during the international career of the best footballer of all time has been management. They simply have not found a manager who can consistently bring out the best in Argentina's impressive stable of attackers.

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