You're abroad: a different language, a new culture and altogether different customs. You've been gathering up courage, repeating the appropriate local phrase over and over again in your head.
This is what traveling is all about. You make eye contact with the waiter and let that silver tongue loose. You're a cosmopolitan now.
Suddenly, the momentary pride you feel is replaced with a sinking sense of horror as the curveball arrives. Your prepared statement is returned back to you in the form of some unintelligible question.
Damn, how could ordering a sandwich have turned into such an inquisition! The proprietor is most likely asking if you want chips with that sandwich but it's all too much, you haven't a clue.
You fumble with the strange currency in your pocket, stammer something about needing to use the bathroom and sprint out the door. There's always tomorrow.
Artistic license permitted, this situation may be akin to what David Moyes is presently going through at Real Sociedad. He gathered up the courage, took a risk and bravely went where very few Englishmen have gone before.
After initially saying and doing all the right things, including an immediate mastery of counting up to four in the native tongue, Moyes is in danger of running, or being forcibly pushed, out the door.
On Sunday, Atletico Madrid's Antoine Griezmann was sent racing through Sociedad's static back line before finishing with ease. Refusing to celebrate his goal at the Anoeta, his former stomping grounds, Griezmann had solemnly dispensed of any lasting goodwill among Sociedad supporters towards their English manager.
Whistled off at fulltime, the remarkable scalp Moyes had claimed in defeating treble winning Barcelona last campaign is quickly forgotten in the face of such turgid displays.
A solitary win from 8 matches, along with a miserly 6 goals, has turned Moyes into the kind of caricature of haplessness that plagued his time at Old Trafford.
David Moyes reacts to a Sociedad teamsheet without Marouane Fellaini. Photo: @DanielPooley | Twitter
It doesn't help when your every press conference goes viral for all the wrong reasons. His off-field struggles have included mispronouncing fellow Basque club Athletic Bilbao as well as former Real Madrid player turned Sociedad starlet Asier Illarramendi.
While it's easy to poke fun at these hiccups, what ultimately matters are the results on the field. In this domain, Moyes is hardly fairing any better. With Aston Villa offering Moyes a possible return to England, his journey abroad seems to be coming to a humiliating close.
At least we'll always have the time Moyes was sent to the stands to remember him by.
