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This Guy Ruins A Child’s Day In 5 Seconds Flat

What is America in a word?

Such is a question for poets and philosophers, kings and presidents. 

I have no idea what America is in one word, but I do know what America is in one video, or more accurately, ‘Murica. 

This is not our country's brightest moment. It highlights most of what people find hilarious and frustrating about the US: over-weight people, whining kids, calling football “soccer,” and cultural appropriation — this wouldn’t be “The Land of the Free” if you couldn’t wear a Guinness t-shirt with the sleaves cut off and be seen as All-American. It’s just too bad that this guy ended up more “America’s Funniest Home Videos” than “Drunk on an Airplane.” 

Of course, ol’ Dale here isn’t even the funniest part of the video, that honor belongs to the kid — I have no idea if it's a boy or girl — screaming out the kind of lamentation that only a 6-year-old can truly muster. 

Honestly, that kid yelling “Hey! Now dat was our soccer bawl!” is one of the most hilariously adorable and distraught things I have ever heard. 

Follow me on Twitter: @yetly

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