Throughout the entirety of The Walking Dead's six tumultuous seasons, we've encountered our fair share of memorable characters. From the brash, to the sociopathic, to the ones who will certainly die in the next scene, there's been no shortage of personalities gracing this zombified apocalypse. I know of no other arena with its fair share of outlandish, and ocasionally deranged, personas as the wide world of soccer.
In celebration of the dramatis personae that we've come to love and hate in both The Walking Dead and soccer, here are the best examples of role recasting involving the two dramas.
Soccer Players Recast As The Walking Dead Characters
John Terry as Shane Walsh
Why it works: Antagonists of the highest order, Shane and John Terry are cut from the same cloth. Shane adapted to the harsh realities of a dog eat dog world before many characters, becoming a determined and brutal survivor while others were hoping the horror would just go away. Terry was never one to back down from a challenge, a strong and fearless leader who was also a complete dick.
Most strikingly, both coveted and became enamored with their best friends' wives. Terry betrayed his teammate Wayne Bridge while Shane took aim at BFF Rick Grimes, the scoundrels.
Louis van Gaal as Eugene Porter
Why it works: Eugene told everyone he was a savior, that he was a genius scientist who deserved protection. Louis van Gaal proclaimed himself the best coach in the world, the king who would bring Manchester United back from the dead. Eugene was not a scientist. LvG may be confident, arrogant and hard-working but he has yet to revive the fortunes of Manchester United.
Eugene's disinclination towards fighting and violence seems every bit as foolish as van Gaal's stubborn refusal to adapt his floundering tactics.
Jose Mourinho as Philip Blake aka the Governor
Why it works: Sociopathic, cold-blooded, and able to utilize their manipulative charm to create a unified siege mentality, Jose Mourinho and the Governor are remorseless. Hell-bent on dominating those around them and with secrets to keep (the Governor with his daughter and Mourinho with Manchester United), Mourinho and the Governor will do anything to reassert their lost power.
Oliver Kahn as Abraham Ford
Why it works: Brave, short-tempered and rough, goalkeeping legend Oliver Kahn and Abraham are two gingers you don't want to f*** with. Kahn was nicknamed the Titan due to his commanding presence in goal, no one entered the box without being well aware of Kahn's presence. Abraham finds joy in fighting others and killing walkers, little else. Also, they're both fond of drink.
Neymar as Carl Grimes
Why it works: From a young and tender age, Neymar and Carl Grimes were introduced to the realities of their worlds. Neymar was a precociously talented attacker who drew the ire of spectators and defenders for his occasionally unnecessary antics. Carl grew up surrounded by death and despair, very much appearing like he'd lost his mind somewhere along the way.
However, both Neymar and Carl have matured before our very eyes. Neymar is now one of the best players in the world while Carl can seriously hold his own.
Abby Wambach as Carol Peletier
Why it works: Empowered, intelligent and able to take matters into their own hands, Abby Wambach and Carol put the good of the team ahead of the individual no matter what. Carol transitioned from an introverted, defenseless survivor to one the shows most powerful characters by proactively establishing her independence.
Wambach was never known as one of the quickest or most technically gifted forwards, but her intelligence, effectiveness and physicality allowed her to accumulate 255 caps and 184 goals with the USWNT.
Andres Iniesta as Glenn Rhee
Why it works: Andres Iniesta is known as the Illusionist, the silent killer within the Barcelona squad. Ghosting past challenges and quietly going about his work, his balance and agility make him one of the best creative midfielders in the world. Glenn Rhee possesses a similar skill set as an effective supply runner for the survivors.
Swift on his feet and resourceful, Glenn also remains enthusiastic about life through the darkness of the apocalypse. 26 trophies later for Barca, Iniesta still plays with the exuberance of a teenager.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic as Michonne
Why it works: Put simply, they are both stone cold assassins with ninja qualities. Zlatan Ibrahimovic is known for his outrageous goals, many of which he credits to his taekwondo experience. Michonne is known for slicing zombies in half with her katana. They are both unrelentingly badass and deserve your attention whenever they speak.
Roy Keane as Rick Grimes
Why it works: The glue that held Manchester United together over the course of 13 extremely successful seasons, Roy Keane won 17 trophies with United and the club was never able to genuinely replace his midfield presence. Keane’s drive, commitment and effort were never questioned. He was equally brilliant and controversial, accumulating 11 career red cards at United and refusing to bow down to lesser leaders, namely Ireland manager Mick McCarthy.
Rick Grimes has been a constant for our group of survivors over 6 seasons. He’s the undisputed leader of the group and he’s equally ruthless and respected. While retaining some form of humanity and honor, Rick has been brutal with regards to dispatching Shane, the Governor and Gareth.
Lionel Messi as Daryl Dixon
Why it works: Two individuals that let their skills do the talking, Daryl and Lionel Messi are the best on the planet at what they do. Daryl at surviving the zombie apocalypse, Messi at playing football. If you had to build a team in either department, these would be the respective first picks.
Don't ever retire, Messi. Don't ever die, Daryl.
