England

The Chicago Fire have signed 32-year-old German midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger from Manchester United, handing him one of the top 10 biggest contracts in the league. Schweinsteiger could make his Chicago debut as early as April 1 against Montreal.

According to FOX Soccer, the transfer fee is around $4.5 million. Schweinsteiger joined Manchester United from Bayern Munich back in July of 2015 for almost $10 million, but he struggled to make an impact at the club under Louis van Gaal. 

Per the Chicago Tribune, Bastian Schweinsteiger is on the move to the Chicago Fire, and could join the team as early as the middle of next week.

Let me get on the record saying this is going to go terribly. The Fire are awful, and don't have the athleticism in midfield to compensate for how creaky Schweinsteiger has become. It'll be like the first year of the Andrea Pirlo NYCFC experiment, only worse.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is mostlyknown for two things: thinking very highly of himself, and doing things on a soccer field that cause other people to think very highly of him.

The first trait was on display when Zlatan met Juan Carlos I, the 79-year-old former King of Spain.

Jose Mourinho generally gives off an air that he thinks he's the smartest man in the room. We guess even the smartest man in the room forgets the alphabet sometimes.

"We don't have A, B, C, D, E, F, G..but we have L, M, N, S, O, P" pic.twitter.com/DiflA8Ky5B

— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) March 19, 2017

Who would’ve thought we’d ever get here?

Some people have speculated that Manchester UNited are ready to offer Rooney compensation to buy out the rest of his £250,000-a-week contract and see him off.

Rooney's deal with United until the deal expires in 2019.

While it is tough to believe they’d let Rooney go for free after such a long and fruitful career with the club; if we were only to analyze his performance this season, the move makes perfect sense.

It’s June 2004, and England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson has just confirmed his squad for EURO 2004 in Portugal. The 23-man team is highlighted by 18-year-old Everton sensation Wayne Rooney. Aston Villa forward Darius Vassell, although an injury doubt, has been named in the squad at the expense of 21-year-old Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe.

It could be argued that this was Jose Mourinho’s masterplan all along against Rostov at Old Trafford, to sit back, control possession against an ultra-defensive setup and just let Zlatan Ibrahimovic do his thing.

It worked, and no one will remember this game tomorrow. Manchester United are through to the quarterfinals of the Europa League thanks to a beautiful assist from Ibrahimovic. United required a phenomenal save from Sergio Romero at the death to avoid extra time, and everything else made you want to be crushed by the skull of Marouane Fellaini.