Fails

The Most Outlandish Piece Of Instinctual Finishing Ever

You can’t teach the art of goalscoring and that natural instinct to be in the right place at the right time, but what we have here is an example that transcends the art of making something out of nothing — there’s no explanation for this.

This could only be classified as an instinctual finish, but that’s underselling this goal pretty heavily. This isn’t the mark of a goalscorer, this is the mark of a madman. This goal should be investigated, brought before the FIFA Ethics Committee and either be given the All-Time Puskas Award or outlawed.

Are The Goalies At Euro 2017 Even Paying Attention?

Euro 2017 has not been kind to goalkeepers. In the group stage, we've seen this and also these. That is more than the doctor recommended amount of howlers for one international tournament. And, again, we're not even out of the group stage yet.

Turkey Coach Fatih Terim Loses Job After Mindless Fight In Kebab Shop

It’s unthinkable, really. There is absolutely no excuse for this. What kind of monster fights while doner kebabs are around? 

There are few pleasures in this world as delightful as an early morning doner kebab following a late night out. It’s impossible to devour the delicious street food without a smile on your face. Unless you’re Fatih Terim.

Revealed: The Science Behind What Makes A Goal A Goal

Chances are, if you’ve done soccer, you’ll know about goals. But what are they? How does a goal become a goal and not something else? When will you know if you’ve actually seen a goal?

These are all good, valid questions. You see, all goals are created equal, but not really. Goals come in all shapes and sizes, and you never really see the same goal twice. 

At the most basic level, a goal is a goal when the ball crosses the goal line in its entirety. That’s really what a goal is. That’s really the science behind it in a nutshell, I guess.

Brazilian Player Robs His Own Teammate Of A Goal And It’s Just So Mean

Now, some shenanigans from the Brazilian lower leagues.

Jaja, a forward for Tupi, danced around the America Miniero keeper and instead of a simple toe poke, he went for glory, winding up for a back-heeled finish. Fellow forward Flavio Caca-Rato had other ideas, however, and decided to completely steal his teammate’s thunder. Watch him ruthlessly rob poor Jaja of a goal.

You Don’t Want To Be A Goalkeeper At The Women’s Euros

France was 15 minutes away from an unthinkable early exit, the No. 3 team in the world going out in the group stage of the Women’s Euros. Down a goal and down a man since the 17th minute, France received a helping hand from an unlikely source — Switzerland’s goalie. More precisely, it was the lack of a hand. 

Italy's Goalkeeper Spilled A Free Kick, And It Ended Up Eliminating Them From The Euros

Italy are out of the women's Euros after a 2-1 loss to defending champions Germany. Both Germany goals came from set pieces; the second was a penalty and the first was, uh, this:

El Salvador’s Henry Romero Becomes A Legend Of Gold Cup Erotica

The United States are through to the Gold Cup semifinals, but the real story on Wednesday night was the erotic interplay between USMNT striker Jozy Altidore and his tight man-to-man marker, El Salvador’s Henry Romero.

The City of Brotherly Love was truly feeling the heat yesterday evening as Romero pinched and twisted Altidore’s nipple and took a nice little chomp on his shoulder for good measure. Romero was booked in the 81st minute, but he kept Altidore off the scoresheet for 90 minutes, so mission accomplished.

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