Fails

Cuauhtemoc Blanco is a legend. El Temo was one of the most creative, entertaining players in the world during his career. Hell, even his post-playing career, featuring a successful election to the mayorship of Cuernavaca, a government investigation and a hunger strike, has been absurd. His signature move, the Cuauteminha, involved him gathering the ball between his feet and hopping away from defenders.

Javier Guemez, who plays for Blanco's former team, Club America, tried to do the Cuauhteminha against Coras Tepic. It did not go as planned.

After spending £6.5 million on Belgian Matz Sels in the offseason but watching him commit a series of high-profile errors to start the campaign, Newcastle United turned to 26-year-old goalkeeper Karl Darlow to steady the ship.

Darlow has since been great in net for the league league leaders, but he undoubtedly suffered the worst moment of his career in Newcastle’s 2-2 draw with Norwich City on Tuesday. 

Istanbul rivals Fenerbahce and Besiktas met in the Turkish Cup round of 16 on Sunday, and Robin van Persie took center stage to make the match entirely about himself. 

Just before halftime, Van Persie clashed with Besiktas defender Dusko Tosic. The Dutch striker appeared to knee and elbow the Serbian, and the two then squared off face to face. They might’ve brushed noses, but it was Van Persie who had the idea to start screaming and fling himself at the ground. The referee bought what Van Persie was selling and sent Tosic off.

Match fixing has rocked international soccer to a disturbing degree. The 2006 Italian football scandal will forever remain a dark mark on the histories of clubs like Juventus and Fiorentina, among others. Portugal, Germany and Brazil have also had their league's sporting integrity compromised by corrupt referees.

Darren Bent, former England international and Tottenham Hotspur forward, is a proper forward’s forward. The 32-year-old has scored over 200 goals in his career, and he doesn’t faff about around the net. So when the football made its way to him on his own goal line, he did what Tommy Smyth is apparently talking about when he says put a bulge in the old onion bag. 

He bulged that bag with a left-footed slice that had Lionel Messi beaming from ear to ear. That’s how you use your left, son! Get in! 

Among the big-name signings of Frank Lampard, David Villa and Andrea Pirlo, New York City FC owners, the Abu Dhabi United subsidiary City Football Group, were also keen to add one of America’s own. They got that in the form of USMNT midfielder Mix Diskerud, but he didn't come cheaply.