Funny

Alexis Sanchez Scores With His Ass, Gets Sent Off For Diving In First Inter Start

Alexis Sanchez, lol.

Alexis Sanchez, the once-brilliant-now-enigmatic Chilean, got the hell out of Manchester with a loan move to rejoin Romelu Lukaku at Inter Milan. To say the former Udinese, Barcelona and Arsenal winger’s time at Manchester United was a disappointment would be like saying the Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” is kinda catchy. 

But given a new chance with a new club, back in the league where he first became a star, Alexis Sanchez made a massive immediate impact, for better and worse.

Chris Wondolowski Became A Shirtless Superfan During Suspension

It is sad that Chris Wondolowski's name will always remind people of his miss against Belgium in the 2014 World Cup. Because the all-time MLS leading goal scorer is not only a San Jose 'Quakes legend, but he is a fan favorite for moments just like what happened this week.

After picking up his first-ever red card in his 15-year professional career, he had to miss San Jose's match against the Philadelphia Union. He doesn't watch the game from the fancy box seats. Instead, he joins the San Jose Ultras. If that doesn't show dedication to your team, I don't know what does.

Barcelona Folds After Being Hit With $321 Fine By Spanish Football Federation

FC Barcelona players arrived at the club’s Ciutat Esportiva Joan Gamper training center this morning only to find the doors locked and a piece of paper taped to the entrance reading: “El fin.” 

EFL Cup Match Gets 28 Minutes Of Added Time After Floodlights Fail 3 Times

It has to be the greatest third round fixture in the history of Carabao Cup. Wednesday’s meeting between Burton Albion and Bournemouth at Pirelli Stadium featured three floodlight failures, a minimum of 28 minutes of added time and a giant killing. 

Bayern Basketball Star Looks Exactly Like Zlatan, Leading To Hilarity In Miami

You probably know by now, but the man in the above video is not LA Galaxy striker Zlatan Ibrahimović — it's Bayern Munich swingman Nihad Đedović. But Đedović is, without a doubt, Zlatan’s basketball-playing doppelgänger.

Đedović is one inch taller than Zlatan, but he’s got the same professional athlete physique, the same flowing lion’s mane turned man bun, the Zappa beard and the nose. 

Man Dies Inside After Butt-Inspired Own Goal In All-Important Prague Derby

On Sunday, the Czech First League had one of its biggest games of the season: the Prague derby between rivals Sparta Prague and Slavia Prague. The match went down at Letná Stadium, home of Sparta, but the visitors — and current league-leaders — Slavia emerged with a 3-0 win.

After Tomáš Souček had given Slavia the lead with a 19th-minute penalty, the game’s pivotal moment arrived in the 55th minute. With Slavia pushing hard to increase its lead, the two-goal cushion finally arrived in bizarre fashion.

The One Guy Who Wasn’t Impressed By Man City’s 5 Goals In 18 Minutes

We all knew it was coming.

After Norwich City upset Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City last week, there was never any doubt Watford would be on the end of a spanking at the Etihad on Saturday.

But this was all a bit much.

Feyenoord Youth Absolutely Hammers The Worm While Teammate Cartwheels And Backflips

A Dutch youth has hit the worm harder than anyone before him. 

I’ll be honest, my first great hope was that this b-boy was just really into 1980s funk subculture (and maybe he is), but I had to know one thing for sure, so I typed “Is the worm in Fortnite?” into Google. It’s with some sadness that I report the answer as yes, but the worm is still a huge improvement over the floss dance and whatever the hell Antoine Griezmann does. 

What If This Season’s Jersey Ads Were All SoundCloud Groups?

In today’s world of inundating social media feeds, labyrinthine methods of escapism and banging SoundCloud profiles, it’s not enough to throw a jersey on your club’s star player and expect to move units. You gotta get all the world’s most innovative brand specialists together and hit the people with something so profound that it’d seduce your dad quicker than Billie Eilish working the register at a Bass Pro Shop.

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