Funny

Barcelona did not win the Champions League this season. Barcelona should have won the Champions League this season. 

No disrespect to Atletico Madrid, who deservedly bounced Barca in the quarterfinals, but the Blaugrana's attack was led by three of the five best forwards in the world, and every player in their squad (excluding goalkeeper) is either top five in the word at his position or at least in the conversation.

Reports have been flying around that Real Madrid have seen a €50 million offer for fullback David Alaba rebuffed by Bayern Munich. Apparently, that monumental figure was enough to throw the Austrian off his game because he just did this in a friendly for Austria against Malta. 

Multiple reports have confirmed that Portugal and Real Madrid defender Pepe has had his soul dropped from Portugal’s 23-man Euro 2016 squad. Following the events of the Champions League final at the San Siro Stadium in Milan, it's been suggested that Pepe's conscience spirit has deserted him. 

While the defender will be representing Portugal at Euro 2016 in body, it's anyone's guess as to where his soul might currently reside. 

When former Marine Jake Sully first entered his Na’vi-human hybrid in the 2009 sci-fi film Avatar, he couldn’t control his excitement — he delighted in his newfound athleticism while embracing the pastoral beauty of the planet Pandora. It was a scientific breakthrough, the likes of which hadn't been replicated up until yesterday. Yesterday, Neymar had his own Jake Sully moment.

Today in How You Know You’ve Hit Rock Bottom, we have match officials Marek Pilny and Jiri Jech from the Czech First League. 

Pilny and Jech decided it was a good idea to show up stumbling drunk to FK Pribram vs Slavia Prague, a match they were supposed to officiate.

You may be asking yourself: how are you supposed to keep a match in line if you cannot walk in a straight line? This, it appears, was a riddle Pilny and Jech were intent on solving the hard way:

Alan Ashcroft is an unemployed electrician who looks a lot like Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri, according to British "newspaper" Sunday Sport. Thanks to this resemblance, Ashcroft claims he has been able to sleep with 26 women since Leicester won the Premier League title. 

Reportedly Ashcroft, who was born in Scotland, settled in one of the rooms at the Travelodge Hotel in Leicester two weeks ago. Since then, he says, 26 women have passed through his bed thinking he was Claudio Ranieri.

I hope Tottenham fans are also Chance the Rapper fans because they are going to need some serious feel good music in order to get over what has just happened to their team. After being 5 points clear of Arsenal with 3 games left to play, they have finished below Arsenal in the Premier League for the 21st consecutive season. 

Arsenal have finished 2nd, their highest league position for 11 seasons & they have finished above Tottenham for the 21st consecutive season

Spanish fourth-division side C.D. Palencia just unveiled their new uniform, and trust us when we say it includes the ugliest jersey of all time.

Don't trust us? Have a look for yourself: