Jermain Defoe is in need of a personal assistant. And he's willing to pay £60k per year (~$93,500) for the right hire. The Sunderland striker put up an advertisement for the position that was, frankly, hilarious.
Here are some of his potential personal assistant's duties (with snarky comments from us in parenthesis):
A lot of things these days work to take the fun out of watching soccer.
That's why we were delighted when we saw this video of the Wycombe Wanderers scoring a game-tying goal and celebrating madly with the ballboy.
Serious question: do you think you could do a dizzy penalty?
Gareth Bale couldn't do it.
Apparently this is a thing now. Players spin around and try and take a penalty and it's hilarious. We don't know why they would do this, but whatever. Minor details.
Look! Liverpool players tried it too! We learned that Joe Gomez is likely a better dizzy defender than a dizzy attacker, among other things.
If Arsenal have exhausted their summer budget and are forced to make some cuts to save money, they know where to find a pilot.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain may just be their best bet, as te took part in Arsenal's flight simulator challenge a few years ago.
Watch this video of a dog running onto the field during a professional game in Chile.
But first, read our scouting report on the dog.
The dog is deceptively fast with great movement and does a nice job finding pockets of space in between defenders. The dog seems to find itself in the right places at the right times. The dog has good vision and moves very well without the ball. Essentially, what we're dealing with here is the Thomas Muller of dogs.
Now watch the video.
Alan Gordon has a reputation for goals falling into his lap, but this is ridiculous.
Miskick + nutmeg = goalkeeper nightmare. LA Galaxy up 2-0 on Comunicaciones on FS2. #SCCL #MLS http://t.co/WrTz2w4iwW
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) August 19, 2015
The USWNT's biggest competition so far in their victory tour has come from their own bus. Yesterday, Hope Solo tweeted a picture of her and her teammates being escorted to practice by fans in Chattanooga.
What happens when the bus breaks down? Awesome fans escort you to training! Thanks #Chattanooga! #USWNT pic.twitter.com/EThBMAEsBW
This past weekend in MLS saw two of the biggest clubs take each other head on as Orlando City flew to CenturyLink Stadium. The Seattle Sounders put four goals past Orlando in a fantastic turn of events for Seattle after missing a first half penalty kick.
After taking a closer look at the match and trying to figure out how Kaka and his team could concede so many goals we may have found the real reason for Orlando’s defeat.