Roberto Carlos might be the greatest free-kick-taker of all time in the hostory of soccerdom. This is neither an unpopular opinion nor an uncommon one.
But Roberto is gone, plying his trade in football exile in India, his skills eroded by the winds and sands of time. And so, as these things go, we must search for an heir.
Yesterday Bayern Munich forward Robert Lewandowski scored five goals in nine minutes. We do not need to explain to you how awesome that is. We were sitting there watching the game, and it was 1-0 Wolfsburg at half time. One of our coworkers went to the bathroom. When he came back, Lewandowski had been subbed on and it was 5-1 to Bayern.
Meanwhile, in Mexico...
This…is unfortunate. I am absolutely sure that during the 5 minutes immediately after the following ordeal, defender Helen Eke probably wanted to crawl into the nearest small dark space and stay there until the laws of physics and the slow crawl of inevitability transported her to the other side of the planet.
Debates are fun. Iran women's national team captain Niloufar Ardalan sparked a debate when it was revealed she would not participate for Iran in the Asian Cup because her husband had confiscated her passport.
Her passport was confiscated (yes, husbands are really allowed to do that in Iran) because of a domestic dispute, allegedly because the tournament would interfere with the couple's son's first day of school.
David Attenborough is perhaps best-known for his narration of the television series "Planet Earth" and for his nature show on the BBC.
What he is not known for is soccer commentary, but that's just what happened when someone (who we must say is a proper genius) put audio of David Attenborough's narration over a clip of Manchester United practicing.
The bit about Wayne Rooney in particular made our day better.